Movie Review: The Avengers (AKA STUFF IT ROBERTS)

Oh hey, just The Avengers hanging out NBD

With literally years of build up The Avengers finally landed in movie theaters this weekend. And wouldn’t ya know it? I got a free advanced screening of the movie! Suck on that Scott! Someone beat you to the punch!

But enough gloating (Screw you Roberts!!), I walked into this movie with very high hopes. Joss Whedon, who a lot of you know has made shows like Buffy, Angel, and Firefly, directed and had writing credits for this movie. Now I have never seen an episode of Firefly (never really wanted to for some reason) but I did actually watch Buffy and Angel (start the jokes now) and I dug that. He also had a fantastic run on Astonishing X-Men. So this guy knows comics.

So I was curious to see how he was going to take all of these loose strands from like 5 movies and tie them all together and make a cohesive story. Luckily he did it in spades. I also mention THERE WILL BE SPOILERS.Of course, the first act is pretty narrative heavy and that makes sense, they need a reason to become The Avengers, and that reason is the Tesseract (or as its called in the comics The Cosmic Cube). After the events of Captain America, Shield now has the cube and is trying to unlock its secrets because it can become an infinite power source (or for weapons of mass destruction WHICHEVER). Nick Fury is called in because its acting funny and no one knows why. Then Loki (Thor’s Brother) is suddenly transported from the cube and is all like “Dudes, I’m gonna need to take this off your hands” To which Fury responds with “I respect that you came to me like a man but I’m going to have to decline your request” Obviously Loki doesn’t care and he just up and snatches that shit. After taking over the minds of several guards, including Hawkeye.

“Yo dick, Give me back my Cube” Is what I imagine he’s thinking. Either that or something about sharks.

Now we have our reason for the Avengers together. I thought this was cool because it a view into their daily lives, Captain America punching punching bags for hours on end because he is a MAN OUT OF TIME, Iron Man works on lowering his electric bill by making his own renewable energy source, Black Widow tricks Russian dudes, and the Hulk is just being a nice dude helping foreigners. These are things I like to see, it gives you a look at all the different personalities involved in the team. It was also a nice touch to have Captain America in the only gym that hasn’t been renovated since the 40s.

I guess since this is a movie review I should talk about crap like “pacing,”at least thats what Scott does. But the pacing was good, at no point was I thinking “ya know this really didn’t need to happen. There weren’t any pointless scenes. The movie has a nice flow to it is what I’m saying.

Whedon did a great job tying all of these stories together, and giving each character a great introduction. So that way even if you didn’t see Iron Man you could still go “oh Tony Stark is a giant smart ass and in some ways only out for himself” within the first 1o seconds of screen time. These are things most people don’t do, they just haphazardly introduce people. This movie unfolded like a comic book pretty much. And that’s a good thing.

So we learn that Loki wants that Cube so he can summon an alien army to take over earth, Iron Man declined the invite so its basically just Captain America and Black Widow off to fight a god. Of course Cap has no problem with this, BECAUSE HE’S A BADASS. And we get a neat little fight that showcases how awesome Captain America is, he calls Loki Hitler (they’re in Germany while this is taking place) and they get to the fisticuffs. Thankfully Iron Man has a neat little entrance blasting some AC/DC AS ONLY IRON MAN WOULD. And they actually take Loki prisoner.

Now we’re introduced to our final Avenger, Thor as he shows up unannounced and just ganks Loki. Iron Man chases him and that leaves Cap who’s like “all these assholes fly, let me grab a parachute and go kick some ass” You get some back story between Loki and Thor, but then Iron Man and start to battle. They go back and forth for a while until Captain America shows up. Dude doesn’t give a shit who Thor is, he’s like “Bitch put that hammer down” and then Thor is all like “With pleasure!” and he slams the hammer down on Cap’s shield. And after what seems like a Daisy Cutter going off Captain America is like “ya done bro? lets get this Loki dick to prison”

Let me just reiterate how cool it was to see Captain America just be 10,000 feet in the air and just go “fuck this” and run after a thunder god and a man in a war machine suit to go break up their pahty. They did a real good job at showing how much of a badass Captain America is in this movie, he doesn’t have the best powers (he’s the peak of human conditioning THAT’S IT), but there is a reason he leads this team and its because he’s completely unflappable.

It was neat to finally get all of the Avengers in the same room, as Fury pretty much lays it out there what’s going on. Because now we get to see the clash of personalities. I thought this is where the actors really shined, because honestly its like the start of a bad joke, “OK GUYS a thunder god, billionaire genius, and a super soldier are all trapped in the same room…” but they never let it get overly cheesy.

I also want to say Mark Ruffalo did a great job as Bruce Banner, being the 3rd guy to play a character can be rough but I thought he did awesome. He had a nice balance of being on the edge but being really timid the whole time. Also as every one has said so far they actually did a great job with the Hulk. Just let him go wild and smash shit, why was that so hard for 2 movies. It might lead to a bigger issue being that the Hulk is pretty much a one trick pony and that can’t carry a movie its own merits. But being a background guy who’s job is to just fuck shit up? Perfect.

The final battle for New York is just awesome, the special effects in this movie are top shelf. I’m not going to claim I know what I’m talking about either but it was shot well too. It also gave each character a chance to shine. Even Black Widow and Hawkeye seemed useful which is hard to do when they are sharing the same screen with the aforementioned Hulk, Thor, Captain America, and Iron Man. There are a couple great moments of Hulk and Thor interaction which I won’t spoil. And AGAIN just par for the course with Captain America kicking ass and leading the point.

And the end credits built up an even larger threat than Loki was in this movie which was awesome.

So in conclusion, The Avengers was an awesome movie. They pretty much did everything right which is hard to come by. But it also shows why you put people in place who know the material and actually care about it. Then you get movies like this. Because we have a “Ninja Turtles” movie coming out. That’s what happens when you put people in place who don’t give a flying fuck about the material. So be happy they pulled this shit off because The Avengers really could have been a train wreck.

9 out of 10

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