Movie Review: The ABCs of Death

While I was sure there would be lots of stinkers amidst the interesting concept of The ABCs of Death, I had to give it a look because I’ll give any ambitious horror project the benefit of the doubt.  To sum up what the project is in a nutshell, I’ll simply just retype the opening text disclaimer when the film starts:

“The following feature film was created by 26 directors from around the world.  Each director was given a letter of the alphabet and asked to choose a word.  They then created a short tale of death that related to their chosen word.  They had complete artistic freedom regarding the content of their segments.“

So that’s a pretty great idea, and I’d love to check that out.  At the very least, probably a small handful of the films will justify the viewing of the whole, kind of like V/H/S.  So I’ll just rate all 26 films on their own merits, and then use the scariest element of all, BASIC MATH, to come up with an overall score for this project.  And let the 2+ hour short film marathon begin!

Super Lazy Movie Reviews: ParaNorman & Men in Black III

Ya know, I saw ParaNorman like 3 or 4 weeks ago and I didn’t feel like writing a review for it, because it impacted me in almost no way.  And now I just tried writing a regular Lazy Movie Review about it, and I struggled to remember anything about it.  All that comes to my head are two funny moments; the little fat kid threatening to throw spicy hummus in John Goodman’s face, and a hilarious sequence involving zombies and a vending machine.  I remember when I left the theater I thought it was a 7.5 out of 10, but since I’m straining my brain to even remember it slightly, I should probably knock it down a little.   It’s entertaining, but not quite entertaining enough.  Great animation and attention to detail, though.

7 out of 10

 

Whoa, remember Men in Black III?  I just searched the blog to see if I ever wrote a review for it, and I never did!  Well here’s my quick review from what I remember:

Will Smith – looks really old now.

Jermaine Clement – pretty entertaining villain.

Andy Warhol scene – one of the worst movie scenes of any film this year.

Logic flaws – yup.

Heart – surprisingly there.

Overall – not quite sure this needed to be made, but it was kind of fun.

6.5 out of 10

Movie Review: The Lorax

 

Forgive my bad rhyming, keeps criticisms loose; I’m clearly not as good as the great Dr. Seuss. But for a review of The Lorax I couldn’t resist, I wanted to give my writing a Seussian twist.

2012 Oscar Picks

I USED TO BE RELEVANT!

[UPDATE]  14 out of 24.  Sounds about right.

Just to have a record of what I said somewhere, so that when I get them all correct on Sunday (haha, what a joke, doubt I’ve ever done better than 60%), here are my Oscar picks for this year. Feel free to tell us your picks, or just make a mockery of my picks (I don’t mind).

2012 Oscar Nominated Animated Short Films

I went to a screening of all the Academy Award nominated short films over the weekend. It was a great showcase of different animation styles and storytelling. I think I’m going to have to start doing this every year. Here’s a rundown of the cool little films (none of which were more than 15 minutes) that I saw:

Movie Review: The Adventures of Tintin

I saw Tintin last night, and went in with mildly high expectations; what with Spielberg directing and the promise of Indiana Jones like adventure… Now that I’ve seen Tintin, I can safely say Indiana Jones this is not.

Movie Review: Cars 2

It’s less about the racing than it is about dealing with a moron for a friend.