I’ve seen a few movies in the last few weeks, and they all share a common theme… Beasts! Let’s dive into some pretty hairy movies.
Tag: sequels
Spooky Halloween Horror Movie Reviews!
Happy Halloween! I hope you’re all planning a night of horrifying delight; full of witchcraft, séances, devilry, and all out evil! Bwahahaha! …Or a night of dressing like a sexy paper towel roll and getting drunk on pumpkin vodka. Ya know, either is good, really.
But if you’re planning on sitting at home and doing nothing [raises hand], here are some frightful horror movie reviews for you to read. Some frightful because of their content; others frightful because I had to sit through them. I’m even busting out the colored text for this one. Enjoy your eye pain, guys and ghouls!
July Movie Roundup: Star Trek Beyond, Lights Out, Secret Life of Pets, Jason Bourne
An increasingly busy schedule this year has once again put me behind on the movie reviewing, so I’m here with four movies that you’ve probably already seen and/or forgotten even came out at some point in July.
Welcome Back To America: Here’s Some Not Great Movies
I’m back and settled into my homeland after a great trip to Japan. Naturally, what’s one of the first things I need to do when I get home…? Start catching up on Hollywood’s mid-summer finest!
Theater Roundup: Hail, Caesar!, Deadpool, and Zoolander 2
I haven’t had a lot of time to write as much as I’d like to lately (I mean, I guess I am getting married this weekend…), but I still managed to sneak in a few movies recently, and if I don’t spit out some speedy reviews right now, I don’t think I’ll have another opportunity to do it until like two weeks from now, after our honeymoon. So here are my sloppy, drastically under-thought reviews of Hail, Caesar!, Deadpool, and Zoolander 2!
My Spoiler-Free Review of Star Wars 7: The Force Awakens
I’ve now seen Force Awakens twice. I went once last night on a regular screen, and then I went again this morning in IMAX 3D. Made me feel bad for the people who were showing up to the box office this morning at 9 AM trying to get tickets for any showtime today, and they were all sold out. Then again, you should have bought multiple tickets weeks in advance like the rest of us psychos.
But I know, like those poor souls, not everyone has gotten around to seeing Force Awakens yet, either do to not getting a ticket in time; having commitments to their jobs (ha!) or families (HA!), or because you really don’t want to sit next to a bunch of mouth breathers in a sold out show, so you’re waiting until next week. Whatever the case, I will respect that, and provide a spoiler free review here for now…
Lazy Movie Review: Terminator Genisys
Premise: I saw this movie two weeks ago and haven’t had much time to write anything about it until now, but that has kind of confined my memory to basically remember it being a rehash of the first Terminator‘s plot, but then with more robots and stuff later on. Also, cell phone app updates are bad and could lead to a nuclear wasteland where the survivors are being imprisoned by tyrannical robot overlords. Remember that the next time you’re asked to update Angry Birds Seasons.
Lazy Movie Review:: The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1
Premise: Take out the interesting premise of a battle royale competition between unwilling contestants from the previous two movies, then leave us with a bare bones revolutionary war set-up storyline with all the characters that were only interesting when they were in that battle royale situation; and now you have a sequel with a bunch of “meh” characters looking forward to accomplishing something that you know they won’t get to by the end of the two hours you’re sitting there. BECAUSE IT’S PART ONE.
Movie Review: Dumb and Dumber To
In a year full of sequels that nobody asked for (see: Sin City: A Dame to Kill For, 300: Rise of an Empire, Expendables 3, The Purge: Anarchy, Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit, etc. [honestly there’s a bunch more]), Dumb and Dumber To was one of the movies I kind of didn’t mind that they were making. Throwing all caution to the wind, I not only paid to see this movie, but I sort of looked forward to it.
Movie Review:: The Purge: Anarchy
Let’s take a moment and honor the unsung heroes of Purge night, the ones who will probably never make it into a Purge film:
Dino Bone 