Fuck You Washroom Attendant

I was in a bar getting hammered the other night, it wasn’t a nice bar by any stretch of the imagination. And just like all of us, as you drink you gotta pee, so I made my way to the bathroom and was met with something very similar to that picture up there.

I took care of my business and went to go wash my hands, he gave me a towel and soap to use. So now I’m supposed to give you a dollar? Screw you! All you did was give me a towel and soap, two things I have done thousands of times myself that doesn’t deserve anything but a “thank you.”

Now I have always hated the Washroom Attendant, because all they do is guilt you one way or another. If you stiff him it’s like, “Oh what makes you so special that you can’t spare the dollar?” and I’ll tell you what does, the fact I need this dollar to continue my drinking binge and to tip bartenders who supply me with said binge drinks (and so they can feign interest in me and I can have a small self esteem boost). And if you just forgo the entire hand washing, you know there are people who look at you and they think, “That guys gross he doesn’t wash his hands when he goes to the bathroom, I bet he has fecal matter all over his hands.” So you can’t win, either you’re cheap or a biohazard.

So fuck these people for putting me in this awkward position, when I go to the bathroom I shouldn’t have any kind of self examining thought besides “man I better not step in that guys pee puddle and track pee everywhere” THAT’S. IT.

And fuck these shitty bars trying to put lipstick on a pig by using these people in their bathrooms. Putting a random guy you need to tip in the bathroom doesn’t give you class its just a pain. THE BATHROOM IS SMALL ENOUGH. There doesn’t need to be an extra guy with fucking candy and other bullshit there.


One thought on “Fuck You Washroom Attendant

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s