Hey everybody! This here site has been running for almost a year now, with Scott basically doing everything (and Keith peppered in for good measure). But during that time people have found their way to this site in numerous ways. And the lovely people at WordPress (/is handed a bag of money) allow us to track how people got here. Now with all the movie reviews you of course can assume that it was a lot of people looking for news on a certain film. But when you have “BONER” in your site’s name things tend to get a little weird… So in the spirit of laziness I’m listing my favorite search terms.
I’m just going to get these ones out of the way first, but there are a ton of them..
“Insert Subject” Boner- The fact that we do have “boner” in our name and do review movies there are SEVERAL “Insert Actor Name” Boner searches, in fact our 4th highest search hit OF ALL TIME FOR THIS SITE is “Ryan Reynolds Boner” THAT’S 4TH. Things got creepy when there was an inclusion “Asa Butterfield Boner” the fucking kid from Hugo. PEOPLE SEARCHED FOR BOY DICK AND FOUND OUR WEBSITE. Others included: Chris Evans Boner, Brad Pitt Boner, Ryan Gosling Boner, Christina Hendricks Boner (More like GIVES ME A BONER, RIGHT? RIGHT?). And of course Linsanity came here too “Jeremy Lin Boner”
But my favorite in this area were when it was “random object” Boner. Such As: Anime Boner, Animal Boner, Basketball Boner, Minotaur Boner, Motivation Boner, Soldier Boner (ALWAYS STANDING AT ATTENTION that was too fucking easy).
Sentences With “Boner” Involved Somehow- These were just searches that had boner somewhere in the sentence, like “How Big Is A Dinosaur’s Boner” (because that question MUST BE ANSWERED). There were AGAIN some horrible ones, like: “boner over 13 year old girl.” The lesson I took from a lot of these is “PEOPLE. ARE. FUCKED.” But out of all of these insane searches, my favorite was FAR AND AWAY: “I have a kangaroo boner on my back” Let me repeat that because it bears repeating “I. HAVE. A. KANGAROO. BONER. ON. MY. BACK.”
The Completely Random- And some weren’t horrible perverts looking for various boners. These were, as the title suggests, just completely random. I know one was from me making a comment on Scott’s “Rise of The Planet of The Apes” review, where I made a crack about a drinking game that would get any person that does it killed, that’s where “rise of the planet of the apes drinking game” came from (which garnered 4 hits. That many people looking to die? Probably more…).
Others I just could not track down (or in most cases didn’t try in the least) the reason that would take someone here. They included: Saddest Dog In The World, Hot Tits (I guess that could be a variety of posts), Bruce Springsteen Sister (what?), Sexy Harry Potter Costume, (I think I remember this one being a picture but whatever), Cowgirl, Creepy Gif, Sheen and I’d Go Back, Dude Hangs Dong (a personal fav, and I’m guessing had something to do with the movie Shame, actually LOTS of Fassbender boner variations), Minotaur Cock, Girl From Little Fockers Her Butt When In Pit (obviously from the movie review but WTF?), Nice Guys Don’t Fuck, and one that was LITERALLY IN ANOTHER LANGUAGE. I think it was in Russian but I honestly don’t know. I couldn’t copy and past it for some reason.
The cool thing (IMO) was that while trying to figure out which ones they were related to it made me realize we (or Scott, and Keith) have posted so much in this year. That it all kinda gets lost in the shuffle. There has been almost 150 posts, that’s a lot of content (especially for a website no one reads). It was also a fun trip down memory lane (OR LAME HARF HARF). But really it was kinda nice, so here’s to another year, and to more posting from me, Scott and Keith (mainly Scott) can’t do this all themselves. (I should probably note that I haven’t mentioned Lai but not out of spite, him and I combined have probably posted like 15 posts, so I’m lumping him in with me)