When I was 17, I had my very first beer. I had my very first beer I purchased, with a fake id. My name was Brian McGee. I stayed up listening to Queen. When I was 17.
Actually, I never drank in high school. I think it’s safe to say now that the only reason I was able to get super wasted for the first time was because my dad gave me a bunch of his old liquor that he didn’t want anymore. My first year of college, my friends and I got all wasted off of peach schnapps, Beefeater, and some sort of really shitty scotch whiskey. I don’t have to tell you, it was a bloodbath. I’m not sure if that particular night is documented, but I know for sure that the second time I ever got drunk, we recorded a bunch of it. It was pretty sloppy.
Compared to other people, I really don’t do a lot of heavy drinking. I drink, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t really get totally plastered all that often. Usually, I only do it for special occasions. When I moved for Japan though, all bets were off. Getting drunk in Japan was something I really enjoyed doing. It always led to a story. I met interesting people and got into interesting situations. I think part of the reason drinking in Japan was so fun was that you could drink on the street. If you haven’t experienced getting drunk in broad daylight on a public street, I suggest you find a place where you can do it. Preferably in an urban area. Yea, some of my best stories come from being wasted in Japan. I have absolutely no regrets from any of my drunken escapades. As of recently though….
Well, I still haven’t done anything TOTALLY regrettable, but it’s been close. I feel like when I get really wasted now, I not only getting kind of out of control but I also have been getting more obnoxious. I have certain friends that I only see when I go downtown. When I go downtown is when I usually get the most drunk. So basically their only exposure of me is when I am totally smashed. Granted, they too are smashed but they aren’t the ones that are being douches like I am. I was able to embarrass them from my drunkenness. It is pretty hard to embarrass another drunk person (can’t go into that Subway anymore). I just don’t like how I act in my super drunken state, anymore. I enjoy being able to say that I have never gotten into trouble from being drunk. I’d like to keep it that way. I used to be just a laughing moron when I drank heavily. Now I’m more like a tornado of obnoxiousness when I drink. I’m getting too old for all of this. On top of all of that, I really am sick of hangovers. I have essentially figured out how not to have all day, can’t move hangovers, but I still don’t like how I feel the next day. I feel slow, weak and tired. It eats up the whole second day just because I need to nap most of it away. Now that I have a job, I kind of like to do things on the weekends. I don’t know. I’m sure my friends won’t believe all of this. They probably don’t even think I am THAT bad when I am drunk. I’m over it though. Don’t want to do it anymore. Not going to. I know my buzz, to heavy buzz limit. That’s my golden zone. I can still have control with all the good drunk feelings. TIME TO SAY GOODBYE TO MY BLACKOUT DAYS. I’d post a drunken picture of myself in memoriam on here, but my mom might have a heart attack about me losing my job or something. Just know, they are out there and they are messy. So goodbye sloppy drunk Keith. Shine on you crazy diamond.