Movie Review: The Hangover Part III


I know it seems a tad hypocritical for me to blast the sixth edition of Fast & Furious, a franchise that falls into very familiar territory with each new entry, only to now boast a defense for the third installment of The Hangover series.  And I might very well be a mega hypocrite.  But where Fast & Furious constantly proves that cars and explosions will make them easy money no matter how crappy and formulaic it may be, the Hangover Part III proves that it deserves more respect than it’s getting, simply based on the fact that it has completely abandoned its formula and left the comfort zone for this last entry.

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Movie Review: Fast and Furious 6


Fast & Furious has now joined the elite group of super sequels that few franchises achieve.  It now stands alongside A Nightmare on Elm Street 6: Freddy’s Dead, and Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives, in the ‘Six Club’ with their entry Fast & Furious 6: Letty Resurrected.  The only minor difference is that only one of these three films has made $130 million dollars worldwide in its opening weekend.  I think it’s Freddy’s Dead.  BUT I’M NOT SURE.

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Movie Review: Upstream Color


Much like Quentin Dupieux’s Wrong, which I saw earlier this year; Upstream Color is another one of those movies that I saw a while ago, but have failed to comment on it sooner because I was having trouble coming up with worthwhile things to say about it.  Not because I didn’t *want* to talk about it, but merely because I wasn’t sure if what I was thinking in my head even corresponded correctly with anything I actually saw in the movie.  The themes, the story, the metaphorical interpretation, the sensory explosions…  yeah, I guess I’m saying this movie is kinda sorta a little confusing.

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Lazy Movie Review: Star Trek Into Darkness


Premise:  The reinvented Enterprise crew are back with a full one movie of character development under their belts, and now they meet their most dangerous foe yet; a handsome guy with above average athleticism and blood rich in space vitamins.  Probably from eating future cereal.  Do you think there’s still Cheerios in the future?  I’m sure some cereal has made it to the 23rd century.  Cheerios have always been a pretty popular choice.  I definitely don’t think Cookie Crisp will survive. I think the government will outlaw that stuff eventually.  Plus, I don’t see Benedict Cumberbatch eating Cookie Crisp.  He’s too refined.  He probably just takes one-a-day vitamins.

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RUM AND SCIENCE: Experimenting with Doctor Dreadful’s Zombie Lab

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I’ve always been a big fan of Doctor Dreadful food kits.  I didn’t even think they were still around.  Then lo and behold, I was in a Michael’s with my girlfriend today and a colorful box caught the corner of my eye.  The crazy doctor that taught me sugar + water = flavor when I was a kid is still going at it.  When I was a kid and I was all like “Dad, buy me that Doctor Dreadful Stomach Churner kit!  BUY IT FORRRR ME I NEEEEEEEED IT.   DAAAAAAAAAAAD” and then he wouldn’t buy it for me because he already bought me the Bug Lab earlier that year; and it would make me sad.  BUT now I’m an adult and I have my own money, so SUCK IT DAD, I CAN BUY THIS STUPID ZOMBIE LAB IF I WANT TO.  I CAN BUY FOUR OF THEM IF I FEEL LIKE IT.  I’M A GROWN UP.

So anyway it crossed my mind to purchase one of these fun time food makers and see if they can stand the test of time while making them as an adult.  I’m also going to get drunk while I work in my laboratory, which is basically like a guarantee that I will puke violently by the end of the night.  But don’t worry, as you can see by this picture of my childhood bedroom wall, I already earned two diplomas in Dreadful Science, so I’m authorized to experiment how I please.


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My Cough Drops Are Trying to Pressure Me Into Unwanted Sex


So I got sick this week…  I think I can narrow the source down to last weekend, when I arm wrestled a girl who had recently brought home a stomach flu virus from India (I WON IN ARM WRESTLING, BY THE WAY, AND I LET HER USE BOTH HER ARMS.  USA!  USA!  USA!).  Regardless, I’ve been medicating myself all week.  Upon purchasing some Halls cough drops, though, I was a little surprised when I opened the bag and the cough drops started to send me subtle messages, that came across to me as rather “rapey”.  Like the creepy devil sitting on my shoulder, the medicine started whispering awful things into my diseased ears.

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