Movie Review: Don Jon

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Jon (Joseph Gordon Levitt) is a clubbing Jersey bro with too much hair gel and a neurotic workout plan.  He loves being with a new girl every week, UNTIL he meets the girl of his dreams, Barbara (Scarlett Johannson).  Things are going good with her until she discovers his secret…  He loves pornography.  I mean, he LOVES it.  More than he loves love.  He loves it ridiculous amounts of times a week.  So he has to learn about life priorities while resisting the urge to punch car windows for 90 minutes.  He only succeeds in one of those things, by the way.

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Lazy Movie Review: The Kings of Summer

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Premise:  Three teenage boys (Joe, Pat, and Biaggio) have less-than-ideal relationships with their parents.  Joe’s dad (Nick Offerman) is a cold, hard-worker type who is rather stern with him for his own good, but have a distance between them since the mom left the picture.  And Pat’s mom (Megan Mullally) is the obsessive, annoying, overly-nice type who embarrasses him at every opportunity, and is giving him hives.  So the two friends decide to build a house in the woods and live there over the summer, without telling their parents.  This weird kid named Biaggio tags along, too.

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Lazy Movie Review: Insidious Chapter 2 – Electric BOOgaloo

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Premise:  I can’t quite remember where Insidious 1 left off, because I haven’t seen it since it was in theaters, but Insidious 2: Insidious Harder picks up right where it left off.  Apparently Patrick Wilson is still possessed, and he’s being a real jerk to his family.  But then there’s like a new ghost, right?  Some dude ghost.  I guess he’s haunting them now?  Did they get rid of the ghost from the first one?  Are they working together?  HUH?  Oh great, now I have to look up the dictionary definition of the word “insidious” again.

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Lazy Movie Review: All is Bright

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Premise:  Dennis (Paul Giamatti) is an ex-convict released on parole after serving four years for robbery.  He comes home to his family in Quebec, and his wife informs him that she told his daughter that he died of cancer a year ago, because she didn’t want him to be part of the family anymore.  So, with no family and no job prospects (THANKS STEVEN HARPER), he convinces his former thief buddy Rene (Paul Rudd) to be partners on Rene’s annual business venture of selling Christmas trees in New York in a trash-filled lot, to make any kind of money to buy his daughter a Christmas present.  I’m pretty sure this movie is supposed to be a comedy.

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Movie Review: The Spectacular Now

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About a month ago, I won free advance tickets to The Spectacular Now courtesy of /Film, but when we drove all the way to the city, it turned out the show was overbooked by about 50 people, and we didn’t end up getting seats.  Now, last night, as The Spectacular Now has begun playing in regular suburban theaters in wide release, my girlfriend and I were literally the only two people in the entire theater…  Kind of a comical twist of fate for the movie, but it shouldn’t be a surprising one.  The film had all of the critical praise and great word of mouth to make it a knockout on the festival circuit, and something of a powerhouse indie film to target for a swanky advance-screening process for film fanatics.  But then it kind of forgot that it needed to do some advertising (was there any advertising?) if it was going to be wide-released across the country.  The girl at the concession stand last night, after being told of our advance screening plight, said she’d never even heard of the movie (key aspect of that: she works at a movie theater) and that we wouldn’t have a problem getting a seat this time around!

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Lazy Movie Review: Blue Jasmine

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Premise:  In Woody Allen’s latest film, Cate Blanchett (almost wrote Winslett, that was a close one) plays a woman teetering on the edge of sanity after her millionaire husband (Alec Baldwin) is revealed to be a financial fraud and loses all of their money.  She then has to move into a small apartment with her sister (Sally Hawkins), and deal with being a poor person who has to get a normal job.  Bobby Cannavale smashes some stuff in the apartment, which is pretty sweet.

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