Rental Roundup: Oscar Nominated Documentary Edition


I noticed that all five of the Academy Award nominees for Best Feature Length Documentary were now available for home video consumption, so I thought I’d give them all a watch!  I’ve already extensively covered the uncomfortable “comedy” of The Act of Killing, but here’s what I thought of the other four:

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Movie Review: I, Frankenstein

ifrank 1

If I had went to see this movie with my fiance on a Friday night, and we got drinks and popcorn, and I had ended up spending $35 dollars to experience I, Frankenstein; I probably would have been bitter and angry that I wasted so much time and money on it.  But I saw it by myself, at 11 in the morning, I snuck in a free can of soda, and I had $5 left on a gift card; so at Regal’s “Economy” pricing, I ended up only paying $1 out-of-pocket to see this thing.  Not too much risk in that investment.  But did I get one dollar worth of entertainment out of I, Frankenstein…?  …(hesitantly)  Yeeeeeeeeeaaaaah…  I guess so…

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Lazy Movie Review: Lone Survivor

Lone Survivor

Premise:  Four Navy SEALs (played by Mark Wahlberg, Emile Hirsch, Taylor Kitsch, and the only guy whose name wasn’t surprisingly hard to spell, Ben Foster) get sent on “Operation Red Wings” in Afghanistan, a mission designed to assassinate a top Taliban leader in a remote mountain village.  Then things go awry when they run into a trio of sheep farmers in the wilderness.  When they let them go and not kill them, one of the turds immediately runs down and rats them out to the Taliban jerks, and the SEALs go under heavy attack.  Seems like with our government’s military spending, we should have turned this into DRONE Survivor.  Am I right, folks?!  No?  Ok.  Whatever.  I’ll just copy and paste that joke into my “Send to Jay Leno” Word document.  Go to hell.

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Movie Review: Inside Llewyn Davis


I had been trying to give my money to any theater willing to take it for a ticket to see Inside Llewyn Davis for over a month now.  I even just walked up to posters of the movie and forcefully jammed my cash into the face of Oscar Isaac, hoping that a ticket would magically come out of the bottom.  But all it did was get my money all dirty when it fell on the ground.  Lo and behold, this past weekend, the Regal theater by my place finally decided to screen the film!  I mean, I’m thrilled that every theater in America decided to play the (now 4% on Rotten Tomatoes) Legend of Hercules movie starring the neckless meathead from Twilight on its opening weekend, but maybe they could have sought to wide release the newest critically acclaimed film from the legendary Coen Brothers a little quicker than four weeks in limited?  I guess I’m saying that I don’t understand the release strategy for this film, and I’m a little bitter that I had to wait as long as I did to finally see it, because I ended up loving it and wished I could have seen it twice by now.

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Lazy Movie Review: The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

walter mitty

Premise:  LIFE Magazine is about to publish its last print issue, and the photo they need to use for the cover is missing!  Uh oh!  The man whose job it is to manage photo negatives, Walter Mitty (Ben Stiller), now must go on a quest to find the photo by tracking the elusive photographer who sent it to him (played by Sean Penn).  The problem is, Walter constantly goes into deep fantasy day dreams to escape his normal mundane life, and now he must actually experience that fantasy for real.  Whoa, I just realized that this is basically like a live action feature film episode of the show Doug.

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Lazy Movie Review: The Wolf of Wall Street


Premise:  Stockbroker Jordan Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio) goes from rags to riches by selling terrible stocks to gullible people in the early 90s, and perhaps maybe he possibly didn’t do it the most legal way he could think of.  His “poor” life choices eventually landed the real life Belfort in prison, but not after many years of living in a mansion where he took extravagant drugs and had freaky sex on a regular basis.  This movie reminded me of a great line from the show Clone High; when Mr. B asks Principal Scudworth why he’s wasting all of his newly earned money, and Scudworth responds “I watched the first two-thirds of VH-1’s M.C. Hammer: Behind the Music, and if there’s one thing I learned about money, it’s that it never runs out!”  You could say the same for Goodfellas, Wall Street, and Scarface too.  It’s almost like anyone who idolizes these characters never seem to make it to the end of the films…?

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