2014 Dino Bone Oscar Picks

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Two years ago, I got 14 out of 24.  Last year, I got 19 out of 24.  Basic math would guarantee that every year I do five Oscar predictions better, so this year I’ll get 24 out of 24!  BUT THEN look forward to 2015 when I get a record-setting 29 out of 24 categories correct and I win the Nobel Prize.

Update:  17 out of 24.  I REGRESSED.

 

Best Picture:  12 Years a Slave

Realistically, I would love to see Gravity win Best Picture.  Unrealistically, I would love to see American Hustle, Wolf of Wall Street, Her, or Dallas Buyers Club win Best Picture.  Matter of factly, though, 12 Years a Slave *will* win best picture.

 

Best Director:  Alfonso Cuaron (Gravity)

You don’t spend four years finely crafting a technological marvel of a cinematic experience that not only does everyone go to see, but they also praise it and enjoy it immensely, only to not win the Best Director award.  (under my breath) unless you made like Avatar or something…

 

Best Original Screenplay:  Spike Jones (Her)

Gotta love the Academy’s tendency to give this award to borderline comedy films all the time.  This is the closest thing we have to a comedy category.

 

Best Adapted Screenplay:  John Ridley (12 Years a Slave)

Should go nicely with the Best Picture award, so that people don’t go, “Why did that Best Picture winner barely win anything else?”

 

Best Actor:  Matthew McConaughey (Dallas Buyers Club)

And then he’s going to pick up an Emmy next year for True Detective.  I mean, seriously, True Detective is fucking amazing.

 

Best Actress:  Cate Blanchett (Blue Jasmine)

This is probably the most boring win of the night.

 

Best Supporting Actor:  Jared Leto (Dallas Buyers Club)

I thought Leto was great in DBC, but I can’t help but not *want* him to win because I’d rather see it go to Jonah Hill, Bradley Cooper, or The Assbender.  But that’s just because I like those three guys better than Jared Leto as actors overall (and outside of acting).  But it will probably go to Leto.

 

Best Supporting Actress:  Lupita Nyong’o (12 Years a Slave)

Yeah, she was pretty solid at being depressing in that super depressing movie that made everyone depressed.

 

Best Editing:  Captain Phillips

GOING WITH THE GREENGRASS MOVIE.

 

Best Cinematography:  Gravity

Good luck, other nominees.

 

Best Production Design:  Her

Going with the long shot over obvious choices like The Great Gatsby or Gravity.  Her was my personal favorite production design.  Man, I sound like Gollum when I talk about this movie…  “HER WAS REALLY GOOD, MY PRECIOUS.  HER MADE ME FEEL THINGS.  HER WAS PRETTY.”

 

Best Costume Design:  American Hustle

I was getting kinda bummed out just now that American Hustle probably won’t end up winning anything…  So I’ll assume the Academy will want to give it at least one.  But it’s a toss-up between this and Great Gatsby, which were basically both just celebrity costume parties.

 

Best Makeup & Hair:  Bad Grandpa

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that Bad Grandpa’s make up was more impressive than Dallas Buyers Club’s.  I’m not even sure what makeup I’m supposed to be looking at in DBC?  Jared Leto’s makeup?  McConaughey’s mustache?  The Bad Grandpa people transformed a hugely famous comedy star into a believable old man that no one noticed in public.  At the very least, I am looking forward to seeing prestigious Oscar graphics playing a clip from Bad Grandpa while that twangy Jackass theme song plays for 7 seconds.

 

Best Foreign Film:  The Great Beauty (Italy)

The only film I’ve seen in this category was The Hunt, which I enjoyed, but doesn’t seem like the kind of film that will actually win an Academy Award.  But I’ve heard some *great* buzz around The *Great* Beauty.  (dodges tomatoes)

 

Best Documentary:  The Act of Killing

I liked The Square the best out of the five nominees, but I think it will be hard not to give it to something as original as The Act of Killing.

 

Best Animated Feature:  Frozen

This was the only one of this category that’s even been made available for me to watch easily.  Except for The Croods, which I don’t ever want to watch.  Really?  Was The Croods better than Monsters University?  Whatever.  People like Frozen.

 

Best Visual Effects:  Gravity

This was a super hard choice, you guys.

 

Best Sound Editing:  Gravity

I’ll be leaning strong on Gravity to pick me up these little technical awards.

 

Best Sound Mixing:  Gravity

That includes you, Sound Mixing!

 

Best Original Score:  Gravity

And hey, you too, Original Score!  Though, I was surprised not to see 12 Years a Slave nominated here; I thought it had a memorable score that I would have potentially picked.

 

Best Original Song:  “Let It Go” (Frozen)

I kinda just don’t want to watch Bono win an Academy Award.

 

Best Animated Short:  Get a Horse!

Pretty good stuff this year, but I’m assuming Mickey will edge out the competition.

 

Best Live Action Short:  The Voorman Problem

I don’t know anything about these shorts, but this one has Martin Freeman, and that seems alright by me.

 

Best Documentary Short:  The Lady in Number 6

I was all set to go with Karama for the Middle East pick, but then I read that the subject of Lady in Number 6 had died DURING the Academy voting process, so I think I’ll change my vote.  Though, I’m still confused as to why the nominees for this category are never just YouTube videos about puppies.

 

Best of luck to me!

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