Lazy Movie Review: Edge of Tomorrow

edgeoftomorrow

Premise:  Tom Cruise gets infused with a special ability to re-live the same day over and over again until he gets un-specialed (?), and slowly but surely figures out some strategies for success against an alien armada.  Sadly, he also has to take the same post-Chipotle diarrhea every morning at 7:52 AM.  There’s no avoiding it.  And he ordered extra extra hot sauce the night before.  It totally sucks for him.  Every time.

Pros:

-The aliens are kinda cool.  They are rather frightening with all their flailing tentacles and CGI blur, yet a machine gun can mow them down, and one lady uses a giant sword for some reason, so it’s not all bad.  I bet I could kill like fifty of them with one of those exoskeleton suits.  In fact, knowing that this fictional situation will *never* happen in reality, thus I’ll never have to own up to it; I guarantee I could kill fifty of them.

-I enjoyed how Tom Cruises’ character wasn’t some badass dude or soldier right from the start.  He has to lose his incredible weakness and slowly learn to be a badass dude.  That’s about as much character development I could ask for in a film when everyone has exoskeletons with guns for knuckles.

-As for seemingly every movie released in 3D, there’s maybe, *maybe* one cool sequence that takes advantage of the technology and the rest of the movie feels like a 2D movie that cost $4 extra.  That scene where Tom Cruise first jumps out of the airplane and frantically falls to the ground was some pretty breathtaking 3D footage.  And then the rest of the movie was like I was wearing those dumb glasses for no reason.  But, at this point, kudos for having *one* memorable 3D sequence.

-Got some decent humor, way more than I was expecting.  It turned what easily could have been a completely forgettable, bland action movie into something of a fun romp.  Never have I laughed so much at a guy getting shot in the face two dozen times!

-I know they eventually kiss (which is a spoiler to anyone who has never seen a summer blockbuster movie before), but I’m kinda happy that they had a strong female lead who wasn’t just used solely as a love interest for Tom Cruise’s superior character.  In a lot of ways, the two protagonists were fairly even.  Good for you, screenwriter.

-Doesn’t really get repetitive, despite it showing the same day over and over again.  They kept it loose in the beginning, but then eventually made the sequences tighter and tighter over the course of the movie.  The film and its gimmick would have started to wear you down if they didn’t pick it up.

-I kind of enjoyed Bill Paxton in this movie, you guys.  But imagine how it would have been with Bill Pullman!  #independenceday #lakeplacid #casper

-I was just looking at Tom Cruise’s IMDb page, and noticed he’s only been in 41 movies?  Wow, it feels like he’s been in 100.  And he was only in 9 films in the 1990s?  I guess if you’re an iconic A-list guy like Cruise, you don’t need to be in *everything*.  For someone who I don’t really care for on a personal level, I suppose I sort of enjoy his enthusiasm to be in big dumb movies like this and seemingly put forth a good effort every time.

 

Cons:

-For all the criticisms that this film is basically just a video game, I have to agree that making all the aliens look exactly the same but a slightly different color depending on their varying difficulty to kill is classic lazy video game bullshit.

-I find it hard to believe that there wasn’t a storyline where Tom Cruise spent countless days trying to score with Emily Blunt, and then reliving that sequence for several years of repeat days.  I mean, it’s not as if Cruise’s character was a saint, he was in public relations…  But I guess this is a PG-13 Hollywood movie, and not just the deranged ramblings of a pervert…  I GUESS.

-I wonder why it kept choosing the exact moment when he woke up after being knocked out as his reset point?  It couldn’t be because it was the last time he fell asleep, because it reset him the day before the invasion, so he slept in the military base every time he reset before he went to battle.  Why would it reset him to that to that specific time if he kept progressing further and further in the next day?  Wouldn’t it keep extending his restart moment if he, say, lasted 7 more hours the next day or wou-  OH WHATEVER WHO CARES.

-I found it kind of dumb that once the time traveling power travels to a new host, the entirety of its power falls into new hands.  Kind of a nonsensically bogus flaw in the aliens’ design that you have to look over to enjoy the movie.  But then again, as dumb as that is, I suppose humans have equally stupid design flaws.  (carries a large glass of soda and a bag of chips in one hand, a plate of microwaved pizza and a bowl of salsa in the other, and a roll of paper towels under my armpit) (tries to open a closed door) (drops the salsa and almost drops the pizza) (humanity defined)

 

Final Thoughts:  For someone like myself who sees this sort of cycle of similar projects come in and out of theaters every year, who would be genuinely surprised if a *great* movie showed up between February and June, who probably sees more below-average-to-average films than above-average ones, who can site examples from last week, last month, and last year of films that I paid money to end up completely despising…  then, well, Edge of Tomorrow really wasn’t that bad.  At least in the scheme of things.  I’d rather enjoy most movies I see and watch the few complete duds sink to the bottom than the other way around.  Because let’s be honest, most movies you see are probably about as average as Edge of Tomorrow, so there’s no use attempting to label this film as horrible and putting it in the same league as Battle: Los Angeles or something. Because it’s not.  You just don’t watch as many crappy movies as I do.  Long story short, if I wrote the movie, I would have included a running gag where Tom Cruise has an unavoidable poop he must take every time he resets, because I like to write about *real* problems.  And that’s why I write on this blog and not for Warner Bros.

There, I made it through the entire review without mentioning Groundhog’s Day even once.  Awwww schucks! (banjo music plays me out)

7.5 out of 10

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