Lazy Movie Review: Hercules (2014)


Premise:  In the first instance of Hercules being played by a guy named Dwayne; the legendary hero joins forces with the king of Athens to take down the army of Rhesus, the evil Lord of Peanut Butter Cups, who is doing something to someone, that makes the king angry or something.  But is the king himself evil?  Did Hercules murder his family?  Probably not?  Yeah, I assumed he didn’t either.  That was a dumb side story of manufactured suspense that no one fell for.  Does anyone even care?  Oh…  wait…  Oh my god…  I didn’t realize this was a Brett Ratner film until the credits started rolling…  It all makes so much sense now!  The incompetence makes so much sense now!

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