Movie Review: The ABCs of Death 2

abcs of death 01

It’s time for round two of ABCs of Death!  The first time around, the wacky experience resulted in a few real gems, and a lot of “what the hell was that?” and “ewww gross…”  I’m sure the second time that 26 filmmakers from around the world gather their work together to show 26 forms of death for each letter of the alphabet will, well, probably be exactly the same, I’m guessing.  Let’s sift through the weirdness!

abcs of death 02

A:  It was a little confusing at first, until I realized that the first half was what the second half was supposed to be if the assassination went as planned.  It turned out to be funnier than I was expecting it to be, in retrospect.  7.5 out of 10

B:  The payoff, which everyone is expecting from the start, is a funny sight for the five seconds it happens; but the surrounding three minutes dragged on for what felt like 10 minutes.  3 out of 10

C:  One of the more serious and depressing ones, but I guess that’s what it was going for.  Features a pretty hard-to-watch decapitation with good practical effects, though.  6 out of 10

D:  Holy crap that was super bizarre.  A stop motion animated short that didn’t make any sense to me but kept me entertained the entire time.  The textures of everything made me want to vomit.  8.5 out of 10

E:  Supposed to be funny, ended up only being only kind of funny.  Got kind of predictable.  Ehhhh.  5.5 out of 10

F:  It was interesting up until the end, when it got super underwhelming.  I wish it went on for another minute or had more of a point.  6.5 out of 10

G:  There’s weird for the sake of being weird, and then there’s hilarious weird.  This was hilarious weird.  8 out of 10

abcs of death 03

H:  SYMBOLISM.  And decent animation.  8 out of 10

I:  Had a few moments, but also had a few elements that I had no idea what I was looking at.  What was that thing in the old lady’s mouth supposed to be?  I DON’T KNOW.  7 out of 10

J:  It had a message, and had some interesting visuals.  I guess that’s all I’m really looking for out of a lot of these, to be honest.  7.5 out of 10

K:  This started off as one of the most fascinating things I’ve seen out of any of these ABCs of Death compilations, with some awesome shots and creepy tones, but then it just kind of ended, and the K word was something I’ve never heard of before.  DO MORE.  7.5 out of 10

L:  This one was terrible.  BUT, it looked like it was outsourced to an actual African tribe to shoot or something.  So I was kind of interested in it just to see something made by someone from that region of the world.  But it was still terrible.  4 out of 10

M:  Awesome, funny, slow motion cinematography; coupled with a pretty good punchline.  9 out of 10

abcs of death 04

N:  Started off kind of lame, but then built to a really exciting climax.  And the editing was pretty wild.  8 out of 10

O:  Just when you think everything original about zombies has already been done, this filmmaker came up with something different.  Nice.  But still had a few nonsensical elements to keep it from being what I would call “good”.  7.5 out of 10

P:  Easily one of the worst, most annoying things I’ve ever seen.  Nice Photo Booth effects, you freakinging hacks.   0 out of 10

Q:  Good concept for a hard letter.  Can’t really complain.  7.5 out of 10

R:  Way too obvious, and had no ending.  It was just a Russian Roulette game.  It was about as clever as a Jay Leno monologue.  3.5 out of 10

S:  Awesome use of split screen, pretty good acting, and a great sense of tension.  Also pretty depressing.  Loved it.  9 out of 10

T:  I think this was one of those times when the filmmakers thought they were empowering women in the end, but they still showed the actress nude throughout the whole thing and then had tentacles come out of her vagina.  Don’t ask.  2 out of 10

abcs of death 05

U:  Maaaaaybe an interesting concept, but it raises a lot of logic questions, and then when you try to answer those questions you realize how dumb this one may be after all.  5.5 out of 10

V:  Almost a good idea, but the two lead actors in it are repulsive people.  Like, even just to look at.  4.5 out of 10

W:  GREAT idea of two kids getting sent to the world of their action figures, like in the toy commercials from the 90s, and then everything is sort of way more screwed up there than they want it to be.  But the execution could have been a lot better.  7 out of 10

X:  Awful, stupid, predictable, boring, illogical, and did I say awful?  The lack of creativity was astounding.  1 out of 10

Y:  Kind of insane in a good way.  Using symbolism in the wackiest way possible.  It also features a giant fake dong, so your mom will love it.  8.5 out of 10

Z:  Decent closer, with some really barf-worthy gore effects.  I’m happy I wasn’t eating when I watched this one.  7.5 out of 10

abcs of death 06

Final Thoughts:  I think this one had a lot more watchable shorts than the first one did, but it sort of lacked the same level of consistent insanity.  In ABCs 1, even the bad ones were absolutely insane for the most part, while a lot of the bad ones in this one were kind of boring.  A lot of the shorts seemed to play it safe, but the best ones were still gleefully weird.  It’s still really cool to see 26 short films in one clump, regardless of individual quality.

If I do all the math and add up the numbers, the score comes out to 159.5 out of 260

or roughly

6 out of 10

One thought on “Movie Review: The ABCs of Death 2

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