Sorry, DVR: TV Shows That I’ve Abandoned

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I just finished watching American Horror Story: Freak Show, which was my first foray into any American Horror Story season.  It was, uh, interesting…?   Maybe?  To be honest, it was kind of a meandering, bloated, plotless series that introduced new characters every two episodes without ever having a truly fluid storyline.  It seemed like nonsensical visual rambling.  Yeah, some of those visuals were neat, some of the episodes were OK, but (finally tying it to this post) there were times when I wanted to stop watching the season altogether and just call it quits.  For whatever reason I didn’t in this case, and saw the 14 episodes through to the end.  But it certainly was a test of patience.

So that got me thinking about what TV shows I actually *have* quit on…  But I’m not to referring to shows where I just watched a couple of episodes and said it wasn’t for me *cough* FIREFLY *coughcough*, I mean shows where I watched it for a couple of seasons, and for whatever reason ended up calling it quits.  And then I’ll try to explore what went wrong…

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Oscar Nominated Variety Pack!

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Welcome to late January, a time when the movie selections start to get rather slim for the non-brain dead crowd.  There’s The Wedding Ringer, a movie that I would admittedly hate-watch for 15 minutes if I ever saw it on HBO or something, kind of like I did for the Vaughn/Wilson masterpiece of failure The Internship.  There’s also Mortdecai, which is a film I will actively try to avoid for the remainder of my life.  Sorry, but empty mustache jokes and Gwyneth Paltrow as a wasp isn’t going to get me running to the theater/TV/Netflix/whatever.  HARD PASS.  What else is there?  The Boy Next Door?  Wow.  I’m actually interested in reading about the box office numbers on this one, if only to see if people actually went to see a Jennifer Lopez movie in 2015.  Anything else?  Strange Magic?  Blackhat?  Taken 3?  Yikes, and no thanks.  What’s coming out next week?  Project Almanac?  Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit…  Looks like I’m not going to be buying a movie ticket for two more weeks until the Wachowski siblings release that crazy looking space movie with Channing Tatum.

Anyway, I took the opportunity to not feed the January Hollywood machine and instead catch up on a few Oscar nominated movies that I hadn’t seen before, which *I’M ASSUMING* were better than Kevin Hart and Josh Gad doing whatever it is they do for two hours.

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CLASHING IDEALS: American Sniper vs. Naf Naf Grill

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American Sniper has been a bit of a polarizing experience, if you happen to read any articles about it.  I guess the central figure, Chris Kyle, has gone under some scrutiny for actions not really shown in the film, while at the same time the movie has been glorified and praised for its flag waving American pride type themes.  There’s a lot to be discussed, and it’s all a very serious matter, so I’m going to do everyone a favor and let the two sides of the story speak for themselves…  On one side, there’s the heavily Oscar nominated Clint Eastwood film American Sniper, and on the other side is the lunch I had at Naf Naf Grill yesterday.

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Lazy Movie Review: Selma

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Premise:  Taking place in 1965 after president LBJ (Tom Wilkinson) supposedly “ended” segregation, Martin Luther King (David Oyelowo, fresh off his Oscar snub) plans a protest march to get equal voting rights for African-Americans, starting in super racist junkpile of a city Selma, Alabama.  It’s a very emotionally charged, important film about a rough time in this country’s history.  It also solidifies my mindset that, much like Arkansas, just never go to Alabama.  For every charming Forest Gump that lives there, there’s also 100 guys with confederate flag stickers on their pickup truck window.  And I mean in 2015, mind you.  Hey, you dumb hicks, you lost the war 150 years ago.  GET OVER IT.

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Movie Review: Inherent Vice

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A lot of films lately have done a really good job of tapping into specific parts of my brain and causing me to have weird, uncomfortable emotional disturbances.  Whiplash made me question my drive, Nightcrawler made me question my ethics, Gone Girl made me question how good I’m doing in my relationship, and Birdman just made me question the purpose of my existence.  Inherent Vice, the newest movie to mess with me, confirmed a feeling in my head that I’m probably super paranoid about everything.  And I don’t even take (non stomach related) drugs!

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The 101 Movies I’ve Watched From 2014

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Another year down, another bunch of movies I saw.  While there were a high number of crappy and mediocre movies this year, I thought the number of A or B grade films were pretty good, too.  And I’ve only given three 10 out of 10’s in my four-year history of doing this blog, and two of them were from this year.  So good for you, 2014.

So here is my giant list of everything I saw this year, starting with the worst and working its way to the best.  Feel free to read the original reviews of anything you’re curious about that my one sentence blurb doesn’t satisfy you on.  If my grade doesn’t quite match the original score I gave it, it’s probably because I watched it a second time and adjusted my score.

But most importantly, this is just a nice way to nonchalantly sum up an entire year of my writing in one post that you can skim through and ignore in a matter of minutes.  At least I have fun writing them…  Enjoy, you ungrateful bastards!

(here’s my lists from 201320122011)

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