Movie Review: Poltergeist ’15

Poltergeist 01

I’m going to do the noble thing and not compare this to the original, because even though it’s a pretty direct remake, it’s totally its own movie, you guys.  I’ll try to look past the fact that it’s everything about the original, but way, way worse, and…  …oh, crap!

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Movie Review:: Kurt Cobain: Montage of Heck

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I was never really a *big* fan of Nirvana, or the philosophical lyrics of their lead singer Kurt Cobain.  I mean, I was under ten years old when they reached the height of their popularity.  So I was much more into listening to Ren & Stimpy albums than I was into the grunge scene.  But in my 20s, I gained a sort of general fondness for a chunk of Nirvana’s songs.  At the very least, I really liked all of the covers on that Unplugged album.

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Movie Review:: Mad Max: Fury Road

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There were times in my life when I would plan days in advance to order a pizza.  Not just any pizza, but Giordano’s stuffed spinach deep dish.  On Sunday I would plan out my meals for the week, and I’d make a note to order that $30, extra large pizza all for myself on Thursday, and I’d wait all week knowing that on Thursday, I’d be biting into that delicious wad of melted cheese.  And when Thursday finally rolled around, and I picked up that pizza from the restaurant, and almost ritualistically cut it and sat down with two slices on my plate; that first bite was almost dizzying.  It was a high expectation living up to a reality.  Nothing about it let me down.  That’s where Mad Max: Fury Road comes in.  I haven’t been so hyped up for a movie in a while, and when it ended up being everything I hoped for, it became worth the agonizing wait.

Ya know, I’m sorry I wasted your time with that pizza metaphor.  I probably should have just started with the sentence “I haven’t been so hyped up for a movie…”.  I always have to attempt to make dumb comparisons to food.  That’s a crappily accurate expectation you should probably have for my reviews by now.  So at least I didn’t let you down in that regard.

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Lazy Movie Review: The D Train

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Premise:  Dan (Jack Black) is the self-declared alumni chairperson of his twenty year class reunion, and not enough people are RSVPing that they want to go.  After seeing a commercial for sun tan lotion featuring a former classmate, Oliver Lawless (James Marsden), the ultimate cool kid from high school; he goes on a mission to fly to California in order to convince Oliver to come to the reunion, so that in turn more people will show up.  That’s all just the first act, as well.  There’s a twist after this plot point that is quite the spoiler, but I probably couldn’t keep talking about the movie if I don’t give it away, so the rest of this crappy review will have SPOILERS.

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Ranking All The Characters in Avengers: Age of Ultron

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Since this was such a huge movie that surpassed all reason and logic for normal movie reviewing, and since there’s so many characters involved, I thought that I’d avoid comparing whether I liked the explosion 12 minutes in more than the explosion 47 minutes in, and just rank all the characters from best to worst.  Plus, the more I think about it, the one 47 minutes in was way better.

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