Lazy Movie Review: American Ultra

american ultra

Premise:  I spent way too much time trying to come up with a good Adventureland 2 joke to open this review, but then I remembered that the reference would probably go over everyone’s heads because no one saw Adventureland, and even fewer people saw American Ultra.  Did you guys even know this movie came out?  Do you even know what Adventureland is?  Did you stop reading this already?  You did, didn’t you?  Awww, crap…

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The Man From U.N.C.L.E. vs The Men From N.W.A.

I saw two movies again over the past week, and didn’t have much time to write reviews for both of them, so I’m going to put them both into one handy FAQ review to help you decide what to potentially pay to see.  Those two movies are Straight Outta Compton, which chronicles the rise of a hardcore rap group in the 80s and 90s, and then The Man From U.N.C.L.E, which might be the whitest movie I’ve seen this year.

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Movie Review: Fantastic Four

fantastic four

I’m gonna be 100% honest with you, I kind of didn’t hate Fantastic Four.  I was relatively entertained for most of it, and I went into it without really having any expectations, good or bad, and came away somewhere in the middle spectrum of entertainment.  “That was alright,” was my expert analysis right after I saw it.  Want another brilliantly insightful, meaty tidbit of dissection from my brain in the parking lot?  “I wasn’t bored.”  Wow, what a ringing endorsement!

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Lazy Movie Review:: Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation

misssion impossible rogue nation

Premise:  In addition to having the theme song that I sing really loudly while I take the trash cans to the curb every Thursday night (don’t ask), Mission Impossible also has my favorite animated bomb wick ignition sequences off all time too.  Fun Fact:  No one in this movie uses bomb wicks.  They use computers and stuff.  That’s why spy movies will never be as good as I imagine they were back before I was born.  Why don’t you try to escape a shark tank with a wet box of matches and a deck of cards, you cyber punks!

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