Premise: EHRMAGERD, BUGHUUL IS BACK!!!!!1!!!1!! This movie takes place on a weekday afternoon when I didn’t have anything else pressing going on, so I decided to relax and watch the sequel to a kind of decent movie I saw from 2012. I had a medium lemonade, and when I left the theater I saw a nickel on the ground but didn’t pick it up. Fun fact: I wrote this entire review on a hammock.
-I’ve seen worse horror movies?
-God bless his soul, James Ransone (who will be known as Ziggy from The Wire until he is long dead and buried) gives this acting job his all. Probably because this is all he has going for him right now. “Hey, where’s your duck, Ziggy?!” I imagine a lot of people yell at him on the streets. Poor guy.
-The leading lady (Shannyn Sossoman, who I’ve seen in random things over the years) also does good in a role I’m sure she was legitimately happy to have been cast in.
-Whoever wrote this movie actually attempted to tell a fluid story, kind of unsuccessfully (but they still tried), which is a step up from a lot of horror movies that just kind of put people in a dumb situation and they run around and scream and deal with it or whatever.
-I paid a $6 matinée price for a movie that came out 2 weeks ago, and was the only one who showed up. The cost of running the projector has to cost more than $6, right? Oh well, I had the ability to fart in the theater as much as I wanted and never be caught. Not saying I did or didn’t, just saying I had the ability to do so. NO FURTHER COMMENT.
-Bughuul, who now wears a perfectly ironed business suit with white gloves and silky black hair, looks like the CEO of an herbal tea corporation. Weirdest/dumbest character design for a horror villain. When the first Sinister came out, I kind of felt like Bughuul was a straight-to-bargain-bin villain inserted into a theatrical film quality movie. My feelings haven’t changed.
-What is Bughuul’s end game? He spends the entire movie jumping out of pictures and hacking people’s computers, but never actually physically hurting anyone. Why are the characters threatened by him again? Because he’s super annoying? If he were capable of just walking behind any of the adult characters and killing them, why does he never do so?
-This has two of the worst child actors I’ve seen in a long time as the lead kids. I mean, they aren’t in the same league as the kid from The Strain, but they are up there.
-One of the stylistic selling points of the first one was the sadistic murder films the kids made, which were genuinely shocking and disturbing. In this second one, they are kind of more… silly? Dangling people over a swamp so alligators bite them in half? There’s no middle ground between the first Sinister and that?
-They also stole that rat-eating-through-people’s-bodies thing from Game of Thrones.
-I also seem to remember the first Sinister relying on a creepy atmosphere and a general disturbing ‘tude to make it work. Sinister 2 was more like 75% jump scares. And they really turned up the volume on the loud random noises. HOW ORIGINAL.
-Ended the movie with Baghuul lunging at the camera as the last shot. Hate when they do that. Automatic half point reduction.
Final Thoughts: I don’t know, I guess if you like horror movies a *lot*, you probably already went to go see this. It’s not a terrible horror movie. It’s, uh, serviceable, I suppose? I really wouldn’t ever bother with this if I were you; unless you have a desperate craving for horror movies, you really liked Sinister 1, or you want to spend the afternoon seeing a dumb movie and not being overly critical about the general quality of said movie. It’s probably more of a “watch six minutes of it on Showtime then change the channel” kind of movie for most people.
6 out of 10