In Search of Immaturity: Sausage Party, War Dogs, and Everybody Wants Some

war dogs 1

In the past two weeks I’ve been gifted three films that catered really hard to the man-child crowd; the t-shirt-and-cargo-shorts demographic that I most definitely get grouped into.  The profanity is rampant, the themes are non-productive, and yet, they are almost made with such competence that they could (and should) be considered legitimate art.  Like drinking Bud Light out of a $500 wedding flute, or listening to opera while lighting fireworks in a trash can.


sausage party


What the hell is this crap?  The gimmick is that Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg made an R-rated spoof of Pixar movies where it shows the secret world of food.  It’s basically a very realistic idea that Pixar *could* have actually done, but this one has swear words and raunchy food sex.  If at least 80% of this movie wasn’t written while Rogen and Goldberg were high, I’d be legitimately shocked.

Why should I care about the things you watched?  As a fan of dumb puns, I enjoyed that most of this movie was pretty much just making dumb food puns.  It also has an *almost* good satire on religion as one of the driving plot points.  The food orgy scene is most comical when you think about the painstaking process it must have taken to animate it.  The cast is also pretty great if you thought that the cast of This is the End was great.  It’s basically the same cast.

Tell me why I shouldn’t see it, please?  There’s an almost eye-rolling amount of profanity in the movie.  Like as if whenever they found themselves in a hole they just tried to dig their way out of it by swearing in a cutesy voice.  It kind of dulled down the effect of the swears by the end of the first act.  I don’t think I found myself laughing as much as I hoped I would going into it.

And I was just thinking about how when I was 14 years old, I went to see South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut, and I was basically on the floor laughing at something as stupid as Terrence and Phillip.  I think if I saw Sausage Party when I was 14, it would have been one of my favorite movies.  At 32, I’m not sure the movie was clever enough to crack my top 25 of the year.

How offensive is this movie?  It will make the rich lady in the front row clutch all 17 layers of her pearls, and possibly faint dramatically with her hand on her forehead.

Grade:  C


war dogs 2


What the hell is this crap?  It’s the true story of two dudes in their early 20s who discover the world of international arms dealing.  Also worth noting is that it’s a bit of a departure film for Old School/Hangover director Todd Philips.

Why should I care about the things you watched?  We’re kind of living in the golden age of Jonah Hill, and I’m enjoying everything he’s trying to do with his career.  His face acting is top-notch hilarious in this movie, and the exaggerated laugh he made up for his character is easily 2016’s best movie laugh (if you’re keeping tabs on that).  Aside from that, it’s a pretty interesting story, and I was intrigued the whole time to see where it was going.

Tell me why I shouldn’t see it, please?  If you didn’t like The Wolf of Wall Street because it basically glorified the wealth of amped up Gordon Gekko wannabes while only kinda slightly showing them get their comeuppance; then you won’t like this movie for the same reason.  Some people forget that Scarface ends in a violent early death, or Wall Street ends with Gekko going to prison…  This movie kind of shows how great it is to scam the system.  Until I guess when you get caught, and then it kinda sucks but not really compared to the great life you’ve already led up to that point.  Aside from being really entertaining, these wealth porn movies don’t really ever get their actual message across to the people they’re most influencing, do they?

And not that it really matters in any significant way, but Jonah Hill and Miles Teller totally don’t look like the real life two guys they played at all.

How offensive is this movie?  The guy in the top hat sitting behind you will no doubt have the monocle drop from his face in disbelief.

Grade:  B


everybody wants some


What the hell is this crap?  It’s Richard Linklater’s newest movie;  and one that presumably took less than 17 years to make.  Possibly less than 17 days to make?  To sum it up succinctly, this is pretty much Dazed and Confused, but with college kids instead of high school kids, and the 1980s instead of the 1970s.  Fun Fact:  The working title for this on IMDb was actually “Dazed and Confused 2”.  Not joking.

Why should I care about the things you watched?  I was kind of expecting to hate this movie, because the trailer was awful.  But I ended up enjoying it on the same dumb, mindless level that I like about Dazed and Confused.  It’s just people meandering through life, in a slightly more comically written way than your boring regular life.  I would watch this movie fifteen more times in the background just like I do with Dazed and Confused.  Or Boyhood.  Or A Scanner Darkly.  Or Bernie.  Or School of Rock.  Man, Richard Linklater has built a pretty astonishing career off of movies to play on IFC while I simultaneously do more important things.

Tell me why I shouldn’t see it, please?  I guess if you don’t like college hijinks-type movies?  Or movies about nothing?  I think this movie is perfectly satisfactory from a watchability standpoint, but the only specific thing I remember not enjoying was the randomly cartoonish Jay character, who was an unfunny 80s goofball archetype jammed into what I thought was supposed to be a bunch of realistic characters.  Maybe people like Jay really existed in the 80s?  I don’t know?  But he didn’t belong in this movie.

How offensive is this movie?  The Queen of England will gasp audibly, and probably shout “Well, I never!”

Grade:  B

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