Another week has passed and more movies have come out. This time we look at another remake, another cartoon, and another entry into the “I don’t know what this is” category.
Near the end of every week, I get excited and open my Fandango app and see what’s going to be playing that weekend at my local AMC. Especially around the end of the year, when theaters are more open to playing smaller indie movies that might be getting awards hype.
So, what do I see last week when I check what’s playing…? A Blair Witch sequel? A Bridget Jones sequel? Is this 2004? Why is this happening?
An Oliver Stone directed Edward Snowden movie? But I already watched the documentary last year that had the *actual* Edward Snowden in it… And Oliver Stone made Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps. PASS. HARD PASS.
The Disappointments Room? When the Bough Breaks? The Wild Life? What the hell are these movies? Upon looking them up, these three films have a *COMBINED* Rotten Tomatoes score of 20%. Why are these movies in theaters?
Fine, I’ll just quickly review Sully, which I saw two weekends ago and never reviewed, and then two other movies I watched Saturday night on Playstation Network while having some drinks. Cripes.
While it’s standard to come up with a list of the best films of a time period, and probably even easier to come up with the worst films; it takes a REAL memory to try to come up perfectly horizontal movies. Movies that are so unmemorable in their lack of being quality, yet also aren’t worthy of scorn. Perfect C’s. Am I getting the point across? Movies that are giftedly mediocre. Like the quality of writing in this first paragraph. Take THAT, self esteem!
Let’s celebrate each of the past 15 years’ finest achievement in not really achieving anything, good or bad.
I definitely feel like Dino Bone has gotten neglected by me this year, and it makes me feel bad. I’ve had my most productive work year ever, and considering that this is an unpaid hobby blog… I tend to skew my life more to making that paper, and buying stuff I don’t need; like boomerangs and novelty plates. Until a lonely sultan comes along and payrolls me six figures to be his personal movie reviewer, this might be how it is for the time being.
But I’ll try to make up for that a little today! …By lumping three movies I’ve seen over the past two weekends into several crappy mini reviews…? Oh wait, that’s what I’ve been doing that’s so neglectful to begin with. Oops.