Here are Haikus for the 100 Movies I Watched In 2016


A lot of people crapped all over 2016.  And justifiably so.  But…  …on a personal level…   …I had a pretty great 2016.

Let me just run down what was so rad about my year:

I got married
I had my most financially successful work year
I traveled to Japan, Hollywood, Wisconsin, and Florida
I was in the studio audience for The Price is Right
I participated on a 48 hour film festival team
The Miami Dolphins made the playoffs
I won the championship in one of my fantasy football leagues
I ate a ton of pizza…  …like *a lot* of pizza

Even though my busy work life sort of hurt the frequency that I post around here, I still kept up the best I could.  And I even did two pretty hefty lists which people seemed to enjoy, the 50 Best Films of the Last 5 Years (in honor of Dino Bone’s 5 year anniversary), and The Most Mediocre Movies of the Last 15 Years.

The only really bad 2016 things that directly affected me were a really painful/annoying root canal, and a really painful/annoying presidential election.

But I think I owe all the good things that happened because last year I evened out all my zen with a 91 haiku 2015 film list.  I gifted it to the cosmos and they aligned a few things nicely in my favor.

So in hopes to get my 2017 in good form from the start, I now present you with haikus for the 100 movies that I watched in 2016, including  a few movies I’ve seen in the last week that I never reviewed (and probably never will because I’m too busy).  I’m also including The Revenant, Anomalisa, and Room because they got wide release in January (sorry, I don’t live in NY or LA) and they didn’t make my list last year.  Shut up!  Enjoy!

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Movie Reviews: Rogue One, Manchester By The Sea, and Hell or High Water


It’s finally here!  The movie we’ve been waiting for since last December!  Now we can finally see the backstory behind the tragedy that jettisoned Casey Affleck’s humble New England family life into a tailspin!  Sit back, relax and enjoy the Bostonian fan service (oh, the accents!) in Disney’s Manchestah One: A Wicked Pissah Story.

Oh, and Rogue One came out, too.

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Movie Reviews: Moana, Allied, Moonlight, and Bleed For This


We’re coming down to the end of the year, and I don’t even think I have a definitive #1 movie of the year yet.  As you’ll see once again by this group of reviews, everything I see lately seems to wind up in the B grade area.  How many more chances are there for A grade movies?!  Rogue One?  La La Land?  Assassin’s Creed?  (haha just kidding on that last one)

One thing I am very much looking forward to at the end of this month, though, is that I will never have to see the trailers for Collateral Beauty or Passengers ever again.  I don’t know how much they dumped into marketing these things, but I’ve seen both trailers before every single movie I’ve gone to, to the point that I’ve begrudgingly memorized the lines.  “So why did you give up your life on Earth?” and “Howard doesn’t write letters to people, he writes to things.” are two lines I hope I never have to hear again once 2017 starts.

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