Memoirs of a Goober: Why I’m Semi-Retiring As An Unpaid Movie Blogger

I’ve been writing on this blog for six years now, which is a pretty long time to do something that’s both as unimportant as it is rewarding.  If that statement doesn’t make full sense, that’s because I was never really that great of a writer.

But as I attempted to put together a collection of mini reviews for the things that I saw in the last month, and sat here on a relaxing night trying to come up with jokes for two Charlie Hunnam movies; King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (which sounds like a botched foreign translation of a better title), and Lost City of Z , I just went…  “Nahhhh, this might be it.  This might finally be it.”  You don’t have to blame Charlie Hunnam for this happening, but I’m also not telling you not to blame him.

For the last few months, I’ve had the intention to write this post *after* I went through all of 2017, making 2017 the last full year I did all of this.  But I thought, “why bother drudging it out until then?

I’m also aware that probably no one *needs* this post, and I could have just went away; but after listening to the Missing Richard Simmons podcast, I figure an explanatory goodbye is way less confusing than just dissolving into the darkness.

So, I guess I’ll reflect a little on the past six years of blogging, if you care to read it, which you probably don’t, WHICH WAS PART OF THE PROBLEM.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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R8in’ the F8: The 10 Most Furiously Gr8 Things About The Fate Of The Furious

Pop on your best sleeveless shirt and then pop on your best sleeveless tactical armor, and while you’re at it, pop in the finest lime wedge into that Corona you’re drinking, brother!  I saw Fate of the Furious, aka F8 0f th3 Fur10u5, aka [shows you tattoo of a stone Jesus cross with monster truck wheels] over the weekend, and I have a comprehensive list of all the best things about this movie.

[HOPS IN 2005 HYUNDAI SONATA] [STARTS DOING DONUTS IN YOUR GARDEN]

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Here’s Some Movie Reviews: One You Maybe Watched and Three You Probably Didn’t

With World War III on the horizon, please take some time to do what’s important, like reading some short movie reviews of some stuff you probably didn’t bother to watch.  Heck, I saw these movies all within the last couple of weeks, and two of the four of them are already out of theaters.

I better crank these out, because if I had an editor, they’d be chewing me out big time for my lack of writing production around here.  This is only my sixth post of the year, and I don’t think I’ve written a post focused on just a single movie in probably 8 months.  I don’t deserve the paycheck I get from this site, to be honest with you, folks.  I don’t deserve it, and I also don’t receive one, so it all works out.  What, get to the reviews?  Fine.

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Cash Grab February: Movie Reviews

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February has passed by and I’ve only had time to gather another whole month’s worth of movies into one post.  But what’s weird about this month’s crop?  Well, I saw seven movies, and four of them were sequels.  Another “original” one seemed like a cheap money-making scheme.  So I thought this month I’d address whether or not these were genuine attempts to make films, or just studio’s attempts to print money?

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2017 Dino Bone Oscar Picks

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A good chunk of people will be tuning into the Oscars this Sunday to see the inevitable parade of liberal arts majors trying to one-up each other with politicized speeches.  Another chunk will watch just to say that celebrities should “Shut up!” because “they’re just here to play dress-up” and they “don’t have an opinion anyone wants to hear”.  A final chunk is really excited to see who wins Best Sound Mixing.

I, however, am here to continue my now 6 year tradition of guessing who will win the 24 awards that make up the Oscars.  I’ve done as good as 20, and as low as 14.  How will I do this year?  Will I get a perfect 24?  Will I totally flop?  Will I ever find my missing headphones?  I guess you’ll have to check back in on Monday to find out.

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Film School Retrospective: 10-ish Years Later

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A recent conversation I had got me reflecting on my film school days, a subject I’ve gone back and forth in my head on as to whether it was a stupid degree or a completely enriching experience?  It could possibly be both?  Either way, I thought I’d spill all the memories and wisdom I had on my four-year odyssey as a film student before 10 more years go by and I forget everything.

So who is this post for, really?  I guess it could be for potential future film school students.  Or for former film school students looking for similarities to their experience.  Or for people just interested in learning about a kind of weird college education.  Or if you’re bored.  I don’t know, I ain’t the boss of your time.  We might only have a couple of years left on this planet, you can choose to do what you want with what you’ve got left.

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