Memoirs of a Goober: Why I’m Semi-Retiring As An Unpaid Movie Blogger

I’ve been writing on this blog for six years now, which is a pretty long time to do something that’s both as unimportant as it is rewarding.  If that statement doesn’t make full sense, that’s because I was never really that great of a writer.

But as I attempted to put together a collection of mini reviews for the things that I saw in the last month, and sat here on a relaxing night trying to come up with jokes for two Charlie Hunnam movies; King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (which sounds like a botched foreign translation of a better title), and Lost City of Z , I just went…  “Nahhhh, this might be it.  This might finally be it.”  You don’t have to blame Charlie Hunnam for this happening, but I’m also not telling you not to blame him.

For the last few months, I’ve had the intention to write this post *after* I went through all of 2017, making 2017 the last full year I did all of this.  But I thought, “why bother drudging it out until then?

I’m also aware that probably no one *needs* this post, and I could have just went away; but after listening to the Missing Richard Simmons podcast, I figure an explanatory goodbye is way less confusing than just dissolving into the darkness.

So, I guess I’ll reflect a little on the past six years of blogging, if you care to read it, which you probably don’t, WHICH WAS PART OF THE PROBLEM.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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I Did A Podcast And Sound Like A Gay: THE DRAMATIC CONCLUSION!!


Yep that right there is another plug, the other part of my podcast is up. If you want to hear me talk about a band I used to be in (spoiler alert: we sucked) and me take jabs at people (which include former American Idol Chris Medina’s former band). I leave no stone unturned. And if you wait till the end the host left a special easter egg in there that I really wish wasn’t recorded… So yea if you also like me getting taken down a peg come on and listen.

And thanks for being a loyal D-Bonez (that’s how we say it in the biz) customer. And I’ll be doing more of these, so if you hated them… I’m sorry.

Movie Review: The House I Live In

I caught this documentary a few days ago at the Gene Siskel Film Center in Chicago, a place I’d never been to before, yet it felt like I was having deja vu.  It had all the elements I remember about film school auditoriums.  Awkward film students as employees, an aura of pretentiousness at every turn, the musty old seats, the selling of “movie cappuccinos”, and the guy sitting in front of me who was writing in a composition notebook at size 4 font throughout the entire film; filling page after page with incoherent handwritten nonsense like he was the killer from Se7en.  Ahhh yes, it felt horrible to be back in that environment, yet awesome to just be a guest.  It makes me wonder how many of my Class of 2006 SIU film brethren (none of whom I’ve kept any contact with), actually went on to do something film/video related?  I went towards a specialized field in this business and got a full-time video editing gig within 6 months of graduating; but half of my class thought they were the next Sam Raimi.  I don’t know where I’m going with that, but I guess I’m saying that the film student weirdo writing really small in his notebook on Sunday will probably be an awesome paralegal assistant one day.  Anyway…  I saw a documentary!

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Time to Move Past Coal, Sorry Coal Miners

I know that this is far to serious for dbone BUT I DON’T CARE. You know what grinds my gears? Lately you hear on the news about all these swing states and who the candidates have to please in them. One group that I hear about semi-regularly is coal miners. Coal miners hate Obama because he doesn’t support coal enough. They are all scared that their livelihoods are threatened by new technology that will soon make coal a thing of the past (Aside from grills. Hate propane grills. Screw you Hank Hill) Continue reading

Movie Review: Premium Rush

Going into this movie, I knew it would have an immediate disadvantage in my mind:  I hate people who ride bikes on the street.  Like they think they’re cars or something…  Don’t they realize they force all cars in the right lane to drift over to the oncoming traffic lane so that we don’t murder them?  Don’t they realize that they cause inconvenience to everyone just so they can do their stupid exercise routine?  Bike riders are such inconsiderate people.  I remember even back in college, I would be walking to class, minding my own business, and bike riders would whiz in front of me, or cut me off, and yell frantically “ON YOUR LEFT ON YOUR LEFT”.  Dude, shut up, it’s 7:30 AM.  Don’t yell at me about moving out of your way on a sidewalk.  I don’t even want to think about the amount of times I tripped or almost tripped on a bike tire that inconsiderately went in front of me back then.  And these are just casual bike riders.  Turns out professional bike riders are worse…

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10 Television Shows That I’m Very Indifferent About

We all have those TV shows that we love to watch every week, and those TV shows that are so terrible we refuse to watch them.  But what about the middle?  I tried to think up a list of the shows that I didn’t feel great about or bad about, shows that just hover around that line.  They all offer up just enough to keep me watching, but they don’t do enough for me to consider them a favorite.  Some shows, like modern era Simpsons, would possibly fall into this category.  Except I don’t watch that anymore, so it doesn’t make the list.  The Office, a show that has gone slightly downhill with every season, I thought would make this list…  But then I thought about it more, and with Nard Dog as manager and Nellie being one of the worst characters on TV, I actually *hate* The Office now.  So it doesn’t make the list.

Actually it was kind of hard to think of the shows that just float under the radar of good or bad.  I pretty much just had to go through my DVR and look for the shows on the list that made me go “Oh yeah, I watch that, don’t I?”.

So here’s my list of the most “Eh” shows that I watch on TV (only shows currently in existence, otherwise Twin Peaks and That 70s Show would have made the list):

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Concert Review: Tenacious D at Chicago’s Aragon Ballroom (7/7/12)

I still remember my first encounter with Tenacious D.  It was 2001, I was 17 years old and a senior in high school.  My dad had joined a CD club for some reason (holy crap, remember CD clubs?), and after he picked out a bunch of stuff for himself, he had one or two spots left over for me, to get to his 15 Free CDs or whatever it was at the time.  Never having heard of Tenacious D, or even knowing that Jack Black was in the band, I ordered the debut CD on a whim based off the fact that nothing else in the order brochure seemed even remotely worthy to my awful teenage taste in music.  Flash forward to when the CD arrived in the mail.  I listened to it twice all the way through the first night I had it.  Probably listened to it all the way through the next night too.  And again that weekend.  And again two dozen more times before I would get my high school diploma.  And it kept staying funny/awesome all through college.  I would annoyingly quote the entire Drive-Thru sketch word-for-word.  It was pretty much a perfect album.  Then I sought out their HBO show.  Then I started downloading bootleg live tracks.  I don’t know where it is now, but somewhere in my parents house is the Official Tenacious D Cum Rag, unicorn and all.  I went to Pick of Destiny opening weekend in theaters (I LIKED IT), and in a time of digital downloads, I still ordered the Deluxe CD version of the Pick of Destiny soundtrack, which came with a bonus T-shirt, Tarot cards, and a replica Satan pick.  I may have given their latest album a lukewarm review, but it has plenty of moments of greatness, here and there.  I liked it more than I disliked it.  One thing I had never done in all my years of D fandom, though, was see them live.  Until this past weekend…

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