Last Minute 2020 Oscar Picks

I’ll just cut right to the chase this year, and not even explain my picks, because 1) I kind of forgot to do this earlier, and 2) if the Academy has decided to go host-less for a second year in a row, instead of just hiring Kevin James like we ALL WANT, then I’m not sure they are worthy of that much of any of our time.

Anyway, here’s my pics, mostly so that it adds something extra to it as I watch the show; like the guys at the Superbowl party I was just at who were betting the over/under on how many dog commercials there would be.

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Sorting Through 2019’s Movies

2019 was a very special year for me.  I tried a new deodorant scent.  I got some new pairs of shoes.  I tasted Chipotle’s carne asada.  I had a kid.  I went to Arizona.  I also saw a bunch of movies!  Several of which seemed to feature evil clowns.  BAD BOY CLOWNS ARE SO HOT RIGHT NOW.

Anyway, here are all the movies I still managed to see this year despite inviting a tiny, pooping human to aggressively move in with my wife and I; put into five super-detailed and well-thought-out levels of quality.

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2019 Dino Bone Oscar Picks

Ya know, before I got into my picks, I was planning on throwing in some quick hit movie reviews to this post when I realized something…  I have literally seen zero movies in theaters from 2019!

I’ve been to the movie theater only twice since the new year and we saw Free Solo and Aquaman, which both came out last year.  I recently rented Bohemian Rhapsody, and that was, uh, ya know, a music biopic.  You can’t deny that.  I think the only movies I’ve seen that were actually released in 2019 were those Fyre Festival docs on Netflix/Hulu.

Meanwhile, I check my Fandango app every week and I’ve actively avoided Escape Room, Alita Battle Angel, Glass, The Kid Who Would Be King, The Upside, Miss Bala, Lego Movie 2, Cold Pursuit, What Men Want, A Dog’s Way Home, Happy Death Day 2U, Velvet Buzzsaw, and Isn’t It Romantic.

…Not off to a great start, 2019.

So let’s remember a year that actually released some watchable movies, and do these picks.  I didn’t do too good last year and tried to go with logic a bunch of times, maybe I’ll try to go with my gut this time.  And I haven’t eaten lunch yet, so my gut is hungry for victory.  Victory and pulled pork sandwiches.

This year I’ll try something new and also give my second guess choices, so I can look back and see how many times I should have actually went with my gut.

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I Watched Some Movies in 2018: A 2018 List of Movies That I Watched

Despite life’s best efforts, I still managed to watch a bunch of movies this year.  Probably not as many as I did last year, and I’ll most likely watch even less next year (I’ve HEARD that having a baby can impede your social life).  So I’ll keep this “brief”, because 1) I don’t even know who will read this anymore, and 2) I’d kind of rather be spending my time right now playing Spider-Man.  Those rooftop thugs aren’t going to kill themselves!  Let’s do this, ya clydesdales!

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My MINDBLOWING Notes on the Movies I’ve Watched in 2018 (So Far)

I’ve now seen enough movies in 2018 to dump out a bunch of thoughts on them.  Some of them are even from 2017, but I rented them in 2018.  That still counts in my book!
Here’s five thoughts (each) on a bunch of recent movies I’ve seen.  They are in no particular order other than the order in which they popped up in my brain while writing this.  Such thoughtful planning for this post…  You’re welcome!

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2017 Movies: The Best, the Worst, and the In-Between

Oh hey, how’s it going?  I thought since I had some time this holiday week I’d share some short year-end movie lists.  I don’t think that I’ve watched as many movies this year as I usually do because I’ve been pretty busy.  Oh, what have I been doing that’s kept me busy?  That’s so nice of you to ask!  Well, let’s see, other than another successful year of freelance work…  I bought a house.  I bought a dog.  I started writing a novel, to see if I could.  I got a few chapters into it so far, but I don’t really know where it’s going or when I’ll ever finish it.  Ummmm, what else?  I started trolling people who boycott NFL games on Facebook.  That’s been fun.  I won a fantasy football championship for a second year in a row.  I’m probably going to buy a VR headset with my prize money…  Hey listen, my life isn’t that interesting, but I saw some movies this year and now I’ll rank them for your amusement and my self-gratification.  That’s how this works.

Also, I’m sure there’s a bunch of spoilers in this, so read the flavor text at your own risk.

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Memoirs of a Goober: Why I’m Semi-Retiring As An Unpaid Movie Blogger

I’ve been writing on this blog for six years now, which is a pretty long time to do something that’s both as unimportant as it is rewarding.  If that statement doesn’t make full sense, that’s because I was never really that great of a writer.

But as I attempted to put together a collection of mini reviews for the things that I saw in the last month, and sat here on a relaxing night trying to come up with jokes for two Charlie Hunnam movies; King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (which sounds like a botched foreign translation of a better title), and Lost City of Z , I just went…  “Nahhhh, this might be it.  This might finally be it.”  You don’t have to blame Charlie Hunnam for this happening, but I’m also not telling you not to blame him.

For the last few months, I’ve had the intention to write this post *after* I went through all of 2017, making 2017 the last full year I did all of this.  But I thought, “why bother drudging it out until then?

I’m also aware that probably no one *needs* this post, and I could have just went away; but after listening to the Missing Richard Simmons podcast, I figure an explanatory goodbye is way less confusing than just dissolving into the darkness.

So, I guess I’ll reflect a little on the past six years of blogging, if you care to read it, which you probably don’t, WHICH WAS PART OF THE PROBLEM.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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R8in’ the F8: The 10 Most Furiously Gr8 Things About The Fate Of The Furious

Pop on your best sleeveless shirt and then pop on your best sleeveless tactical armor, and while you’re at it, pop in the finest lime wedge into that Corona you’re drinking, brother!  I saw Fate of the Furious, aka F8 0f th3 Fur10u5, aka [shows you tattoo of a stone Jesus cross with monster truck wheels] over the weekend, and I have a comprehensive list of all the best things about this movie.

[HOPS IN 2005 HYUNDAI SONATA] [STARTS DOING DONUTS IN YOUR GARDEN]

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Here’s Some Movie Reviews: One You Maybe Watched and Three You Probably Didn’t

With World War III on the horizon, please take some time to do what’s important, like reading some short movie reviews of some stuff you probably didn’t bother to watch.  Heck, I saw these movies all within the last couple of weeks, and two of the four of them are already out of theaters.

I better crank these out, because if I had an editor, they’d be chewing me out big time for my lack of writing production around here.  This is only my sixth post of the year, and I don’t think I’ve written a post focused on just a single movie in probably 8 months.  I don’t deserve the paycheck I get from this site, to be honest with you, folks.  I don’t deserve it, and I also don’t receive one, so it all works out.  What, get to the reviews?  Fine.

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