Sorry, DVR: TV Shows That I’ve Abandoned

abandoned TV 00

I just finished watching American Horror Story: Freak Show, which was my first foray into any American Horror Story season.  It was, uh, interesting…?   Maybe?  To be honest, it was kind of a meandering, bloated, plotless series that introduced new characters every two episodes without ever having a truly fluid storyline.  It seemed like nonsensical visual rambling.  Yeah, some of those visuals were neat, some of the episodes were OK, but (finally tying it to this post) there were times when I wanted to stop watching the season altogether and just call it quits.  For whatever reason I didn’t in this case, and saw the 14 episodes through to the end.  But it certainly was a test of patience.

So that got me thinking about what TV shows I actually *have* quit on…  But I’m not to referring to shows where I just watched a couple of episodes and said it wasn’t for me *cough* FIREFLY *coughcough*, I mean shows where I watched it for a couple of seasons, and for whatever reason ended up calling it quits.  And then I’ll try to explore what went wrong…

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Alaska: The Last Frontier, aka My New Favorite Show


Alaska: The Last Frontier is not exactly new as it started last year, however it is probably my favorite true reality show on TV right now. It follows the Kilcher family as they live a simple life in very rural Alaska. They don’t have running water in some of their houses, and have to hunt and grow their own food. Oh yea, I forgot to mention that this is JEWEL’S FAMILY. I LOOOOOVE this show (gurgle gurgle)

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10 Television Shows That I’m Very Indifferent About

We all have those TV shows that we love to watch every week, and those TV shows that are so terrible we refuse to watch them.  But what about the middle?  I tried to think up a list of the shows that I didn’t feel great about or bad about, shows that just hover around that line.  They all offer up just enough to keep me watching, but they don’t do enough for me to consider them a favorite.  Some shows, like modern era Simpsons, would possibly fall into this category.  Except I don’t watch that anymore, so it doesn’t make the list.  The Office, a show that has gone slightly downhill with every season, I thought would make this list…  But then I thought about it more, and with Nard Dog as manager and Nellie being one of the worst characters on TV, I actually *hate* The Office now.  So it doesn’t make the list.

Actually it was kind of hard to think of the shows that just float under the radar of good or bad.  I pretty much just had to go through my DVR and look for the shows on the list that made me go “Oh yeah, I watch that, don’t I?”.

So here’s my list of the most “Eh” shows that I watch on TV (only shows currently in existence, otherwise Twin Peaks and That 70s Show would have made the list):

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You Need to Watch These Simpsons Episodes

So I’ve been in a serious relationship with a lovely young lady for just over 6 months now.  I’m just as surprised as you that she hasn’t throttled me in my sleep yet.  We seem to make each other very happy, but there is a fatal flaw in her character.  It’s a red flag I should have noticed on date one.  She never watched The Simpsons when she was a kid.  Maybe it’s because she’s several years younger than me (I’m 27, she’s 21, in case you thought I was getting some jail bait), or maybe she was too busy “reading books” and “learning” to watch cartoons, or maybe she just plain missed out; for whatever reason The Simpsons was not a mandatory part of her upbringing.

Now this presents a problem.  A selfish problem.  I’m a (classic) Simpsons nerd.  I throw out relevant Simpsons quotes all the time.  She doesn’t laugh at any of them.  Do you know how much it destroys my fragile self-esteem to make a well-placed, awesome Simpsons reference, and then get no recognition for it…?  It kills me inside!  She needs to start watching The Simpsons simply to comprehend the lingo she will have to endure throughout our relationship.  Oh yeah, and because it’s the best show in the history of television.

Now, asking her to watch seasons 2 through 11 would be a daunting task.  Frankly, a task she wouldn’t do.  So what I’ve done here, is create a list of 25 episodes of the Simpsons that I want her to watch FIRST.  It will give her a core knowledge of the show.  It’s not all the best episodes, because obviously there are WAY more than 25 great Simpsons episodes, but it’s a good set of awesome, quotable episodes that a newcomer to the show could appreciate.

I tried to make it almost like a fake season.  I’ve attempted to get her some character specific episodes early on, only one Treehouse of Horror, only one flashback, only a small handful of travel episodes, NO clip shows or non-Halloween three-story eps.  Sadly, I just can’t include everything in just 25 episodes.  So there’s not really any Troy McClure, Grandpa Simpson, Patty & Selma, Principal Skinner, etc heavy episodes.  I’d like them to be watched in this order (together of course, can you say RELATIONSHIP ACTIVITY?!), and I hope they flow nicely in this order.  Regardless of whether she likes them or not in the end, this seems like a great opportunity to publicly shame her into watching whatever TV show I feel like watching.  (laughs into tape recorder)

(laughs into tape recorder again)

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An Ode To The Simpsons

In the year 1989, something happened that would change my life forever. No, it wasn’t the birth of my twin sisters. It was the series premier of The Simpsons. The Simpsons has shaped my humor and personality to what it is today. I remember looking forward to Sunday nights to watch The Simpsons (especially to see the Halloween episode). When the series first came out, people were outraged at how… well outrageous The Simpsons was. As you look back at The Simpsons first seasons today, you have to wonder why people thought so ill of the series. I think the worst thing to come out of Bart’s mouth was, “Eat my shorts.” That was considered bad back then? On South Park, Cartman killed a boy’s family and fed them to him and that was in an episode from like 8 years ago.  I didn’t see anyone raise an eyebrow at that.

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Sheen bombed. No you don’t deserve your money back

For the past month or so, we have gotten the opportunity to see a person basically destroy himself on national television.  Of course I am referring to Charlie Sheen, the most famous burnout in America.  Charlie Sheen is an entertainer, or at least he was.  He was considered a half way decent actor and he’s been in some pretty decent films.  However now, thanks to drugs and insanity he has become a living joke.  I love living jokes as much as the next guy but I am in no way going to glorify them or, even worse, give them my money.

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Two cartoons that will save the next generation from being humorless dunces

YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?It’s 7 o’clock in the early nineties.  My routine, as for many of us back then, was to get up and lay down on the couch and prepare myself for several hours of quality cartoon action.  Ghostbusters, Garfield & Friends, Loony Toons, the list went on and on.  This was my bread and butter as a kid.  I looked forward to Saturday morning for years and years.  Probably too many years. Continue reading