Movie Reviews: Moana, Allied, Moonlight, and Bleed For This

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We’re coming down to the end of the year, and I don’t even think I have a definitive #1 movie of the year yet.  As you’ll see once again by this group of reviews, everything I see lately seems to wind up in the B grade area.  How many more chances are there for A grade movies?!  Rogue One?  La La Land?  Assassin’s Creed?  (haha just kidding on that last one)

One thing I am very much looking forward to at the end of this month, though, is that I will never have to see the trailers for Collateral Beauty or Passengers ever again.  I don’t know how much they dumped into marketing these things, but I’ve seen both trailers before every single movie I’ve gone to, to the point that I’ve begrudgingly memorized the lines.  “So why did you give up your life on Earth?” and “Howard doesn’t write letters to people, he writes to things.” are two lines I hope I never have to hear again once 2017 starts.

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Here Are Some Movie Reviews: Sully, Angry Birds, and The Boy

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Near the end of every week, I get excited and open my Fandango app and see what’s going to be playing that weekend at my local AMC.  Especially around the end of the year, when theaters are more open to playing smaller indie movies that might be getting awards hype.

So, what do I see last week when I check what’s playing…?  A Blair Witch sequel?  A Bridget Jones sequel?  Is this 2004?  Why is this happening?

An Oliver Stone directed Edward Snowden movie?  But I already watched the documentary last year that had the *actual* Edward Snowden in it…  And Oliver Stone made Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps.  PASS.  HARD PASS.

The Disappointments Room?  When the Bough Breaks?  The Wild Life?  What the hell are these movies?  Upon looking them up, these three films have a *COMBINED* Rotten Tomatoes score of 20%.  Why are these movies in theaters?

Fine, I’ll just quickly review Sully, which I saw two weekends ago and never reviewed, and then two other movies I watched Saturday night on Playstation Network while having some drinks.  Cripes.

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Theater Roundup: Don’t Breathe, Kubo and the Two Strings, and Morgan

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I definitely feel like Dino Bone has gotten neglected by me this year, and it makes me feel bad.  I’ve had my most productive work year ever, and considering that this is an unpaid hobby blog…  I tend to skew my life more to making that paper, and buying stuff I don’t need; like boomerangs and novelty plates.  Until a lonely sultan comes along and payrolls me six figures to be his personal movie reviewer, this might be how it is for the time being.

But I’ll try to make up for that a little today!  …By lumping three movies I’ve seen over the past two weekends into several crappy mini reviews…?  Oh wait, that’s what I’ve been doing that’s so neglectful to begin with.  Oops.

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In Search of Immaturity: Sausage Party, War Dogs, and Everybody Wants Some

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In the past two weeks I’ve been gifted three films that catered really hard to the man-child crowd; the t-shirt-and-cargo-shorts demographic that I most definitely get grouped into.  The profanity is rampant, the themes are non-productive, and yet, they are almost made with such competence that they could (and should) be considered legitimate art.  Like drinking Bud Light out of a $500 wedding flute, or listening to opera while lighting fireworks in a trash can.

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