Expectations vs Reality: Jack Reacher 2, Hunt for the Wilderpeople, The Infiltrator, and Mascots

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This week in movie reviews I’ll be observing the expectations of the new movies I recently watched, followed by the reality of what they were actually like.  Kind of like the expectation that this Dino Bone post will be as good as the last one you read, which if you haven’t been around this site for very long, you will soon discover to be a disappointing reality.

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Lazy Movie Review: Ghostbusters ’16

ghostbusters

Premise:  Also known as Lady Ghostbusters, #NotMyGhostbusters, and The Movie That Shattered a Million Fragile Childhoods; this was a remake of a movie a lot of people like from a long time ago.  Kind of like Total Recall (2012), King Kong (2005), Conan the Barbarian (2011), National Lampoon’s Vacation (2015), Arthur (2011), and so on.  What was the difference between this Ghostbusters remake and all of these other ones that’s causing such a backlash?  I don’t know?  Probably because there’s chicks in it, BRAH.  Bill Murray wasn’t a girl, didn’t you know that?  Why do things have to be different all the time?  Why do we live in a time when we are able to drink Ecto Cooler, but I still have to listen to women tell jokes?  This is such a cruel planet.  Did you know there’s a lady Slimer in this?  Doesn’t that make you want to write a 4,000 word think piece on the disintegration of Hollywood originality?  No?  Well, I guess you’re a stronger person than I am.

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Theater Roundup: Jungle Book, Huntsman: Winter’s War, Green Room, Keanu

Theater roundup cinco de mayo

Last week my top 50 films of the last five years list occupied my super important blogging time and energy, but now I’m back with my normal reviews (it’s a Cinco de Mayo miracle!).  However, whenever I wait several weeks to post a review, it ends up being multiple short reviews, because my movie watching happens more frequently than my movie writing.  That’s life, guys.  I hope you weren’t expecting 1500 words on the gritty Snow White prequel…  If so, I apologize.

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Movie Review: The Bronze

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Should I have been that surprised that after I bought my ticket to The Bronze on Saturday, I was ushered into the AMC’s smallest theater room, only to find out that I would be the only person attending that screening?  …I suppose not, considering that even *I* had no idea what The Bronze was when I bought a ticket for it…

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