My Dino Bone Christmas Gift: 20 Mini-Reviews Of All The Junk I’ve Seen Lately

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I like to give back to our readers here, so I thought I’d give you the gift of 20 mini reviews of all of the movies from 2015 that I’ve seen over the last few months, but haven’t reviewed yet.  I got majorly backlogged with movies to write reviews for, and if I don’t do it now all at once, I know I’ll never do it.

So if your Uncle Tony starts to get a little *too* opinionated on Muslim refugees while you’re waiting for Christmas dinner; pull out this list, zone out, and ignore the (now) screaming match that he and your dad have surely gotten into while your grandma begs them to “Stop it, boys!  It’s Christmaaaaaaas!“.

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2015 Oscar Nominated Animated Short Films

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Year four now of going to the Oscar Nominated Animated Showcase.  My track record for the previous three years has been 2-for-3.  I need a win here.  I need it bad.  3-1 looks way better than 2-2.  Pretty soon I’m gonna have more misses than hits, and you’ll wonder why the hell you’re reading a post by a guy who doesn’t even know what he’s talking about!  Bring on the cartoon dogs and claymation British people, I gotta focus this time!  [Eye of the Tiger starts playing from hidden boom box]

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2014 Oscar Nominated Animated Short Films

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This is my third year in a row going over the Oscar nominated animated short films, and in the previous two years I predicted the correct winners, so I feel like there’s some decent credibility for my cartoon watching building up here.  That will only make it that much more hilarious when I totally get it wrong this year.  Because this time around, surprisingly, not a single entry was terrible, but nothing really stood out as a super clear front-runner either…

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Lazy Movie Review: Epic

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Premise: So this girl gets shrunken down to a few inches tall, and gets caught up in this war about destroying the forest or something broad like that, and then everything works out in the end or whatever and she becomes big again.  The ticket prices were EPIC, though… $28 for two adults and a kid at 11am on a Sunday…!   Plus, it’s from the Ice Age animation studio… (fart noise)   At least the whole movie wasn’t just a dream sequence or something.

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Movie Review: Escape From Planet Earth

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Over the weekend, I did my part in babysitting my girlfriend’s 6-year-old cousin.  It was a lot of fun, but when the topic of going to a movie came up, there was some heated debate.  I suggested seeing Django again, or at the very least seeing Die Hard 5, because I haven’t gotten around to it yet.  But noooooo, she wanted to see the only animated movie currently in theaters…  Escape From Planet Earth.  Typical 6-year-old bullshit…

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2013 Oscar Nominated Animated Short Films

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I went to go see the short film Oscar nominees last year, and had a great time.  I even made the correct choice of winner because I had the chance to see all of the nominees.  The 2012 presentation of the shorts was kind of a slapped together presentation.  Title cards were placed over a generic cloud background rather unceremoniously.  But people still went to see them in theaters and it made more money than they had hoped for.  So this year we got a brand new slick presentation, with fancier title cards, and commentary by last years winners on topics ranging from making their film to the creative process to the feeling of hearing their name get announced at the awards show.  There were even trailers before the show this time.  It was nice to break up the straightforward approach and not make it feel like an endless string of short films.  So if it makes a lot of money again this year, I hope next year we can have 3D title cards.  It’s the natural progression.

Anyway, here are the shorts:

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