I watched four movies over the long holiday weekend, because I have nothing better to do with my free time; but I don’t have *enough* free time to write four full reviews of these movies… So I’ll just write-up a few hot takes in one big post while I struggle to digest all the turkey and bacon sandwiches I’ve eaten over the last few days. Do TUMS help your digestion, or just bottle it up worse? Welcome to my plight.
To answer your first immediate question: yes, I do own a glow in the dark velociraptor t-shirt. And yes, it will probably sway my judgement in regards to this movie.
Premise: The prequel that no one really asked for, 300: Rise of an Empire is about the naval battles that preceded the events of the original film. It now focuses on a general of an Athenian army and his conflict with the Persian lady admiral who is Xerxes’ second-in-command. It has all the violence, boobs, and slow motion we remember from the first one.
I worked long and hard this week, including a few night shifts, and by today I was exhausted. I made some big bucks, and didn’t have anything booked today, so I thought I’d treat myself by spending $12 to see a movie I’ve already seen 20 times, but in a different format with goofy looking glasses on. So I caught a 10:30 AM screening of Jurassic Park in IMAX 3D (or JPX3D as I’m sure the cool kids are calling it [?]) followed promptly by a nap when I got home. WAS IT WORTH IT…?
I love a good, uncomfortable scene. When all your muscles clench up and you just kind of want it to be over, because it’s so excruciating. But that discomfort in the heart of the audience is the true power of cinema. It makes us feel something, good or bad.
I’m not really going for action movie INTENSE, but more steady flowing dramatic tension. Though, there can be some grey areas between the two.
I’m aware that it’s not every tense scene, and you can point out some glaringly obvious scenes I’m missing; so do so in the comments. But not all of us have seen that obscure Japanese horror movie that you claim has the most tense scene ever filmed. So share it, buddy!
Also, it’s safe to say, that this is a very spoilery list for the movies involved.
I cut together this film supercut for fun in my spare time, of one of my favorite things to watch in the whole world, animals attacking humans. I’m not an animal rights activist or anything, I mainly just find it funny. I’ve always had the feeling that one day humans will fuck up society to an irreversible degree, and we will all be slaves to our newly appointed animal overlords. Or something.
Marvel less at the quality of the footage, or the incoherent editing; but mainly admire how little of a life I must have to have assembled all this. And be happy you have a social life.
I also would like to note that I cut this together several weeks ago, with actual popular music (Eagles of Death Metal / Rolling Stones / The Kills / The Clash), but YouTube quickly said I was a copyright infringing asshole, and took the video down the very same day I put it up. So I replaced the music with royalty free piano music, and it’s not as exciting anymore. But it now has some dignified charm to it that it didn’t have before. Kind of like the background video to some Border’s store live performance in hell.
Anyway, enjoy! Film list after the jump.
I’m in a listy mood tonight. Here’s 30 films I think have gotten the short end of the stick, and should be given more credit.