Movie Reviews: Doctor Strange, Hacksaw Ridge, Arrival, Sing Street, and The BFG

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I went on vacation last week, so I didn’t have time to write anything about the handful of movies I’ve seen recently, but now I’m back and they’ve piled up to the point where I need to just rush through these reviews, because I’m about to get busy again after this.  So here’s the latest on non-Hogwarts wizards (that’s next week), untold WWII stories, moody alien fiction, Irish teenagers, and a computerized giant with nonproportional ears.

Spoiler alert: They all basically got the same grade from me.  I’m a hack!

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Ranking All the Characters in Captain America: Civil War

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As is now my standard for reviewing these giant ensemble superhero movies, I will rank all of the characters I can remember from the movie from best to worst.  Not listed: the single tear that falls from my face every time I see Captain America defending this amazing country that I love so god damn much.

Oh yeah, this will be a spoiler filled article, I’m sure.  But based on the box office numbers, I’m sure you saw this anyway.

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Theater Roundup: Hail, Caesar!, Deadpool, and Zoolander 2

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I haven’t had a lot of time to write as much as I’d like to lately (I mean, I guess I am getting married this weekend…), but I still managed to sneak in a few movies recently, and if I don’t spit out some speedy reviews right now, I don’t think I’ll have another opportunity to do it until like two weeks from now, after our honeymoon.  So here are my sloppy, drastically under-thought reviews of Hail, Caesar!, Deadpool, and Zoolander 2!

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Movie Review: Fantastic Four

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I’m gonna be 100% honest with you, I kind of didn’t hate Fantastic Four.  I was relatively entertained for most of it, and I went into it without really having any expectations, good or bad, and came away somewhere in the middle spectrum of entertainment.  “That was alright,” was my expert analysis right after I saw it.  Want another brilliantly insightful, meaty tidbit of dissection from my brain in the parking lot?  “I wasn’t bored.”  Wow, what a ringing endorsement!

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Lazy Movie Review: Ant-Man

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Premise:  Paul Rudd as a superhero?!  Say whaaaaaaaaaaaat…?!  He plays Scott Lang, an ex-con who went to prison for hacking money back to investors who got screwed over by his company.  He gets recruited by Hank Pym (Michael Douglas), and his daughter Hope Pym (Evangeline Lilly [Kate from Lost]) to steal back the technology Pym tried to hide from his business partner because it’s too powerful and will destroy the world, kind of.  The explosions are apt.

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Ranking All The Characters in Avengers: Age of Ultron

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Since this was such a huge movie that surpassed all reason and logic for normal movie reviewing, and since there’s so many characters involved, I thought that I’d avoid comparing whether I liked the explosion 12 minutes in more than the explosion 47 minutes in, and just rank all the characters from best to worst.  Plus, the more I think about it, the one 47 minutes in was way better.

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