Measuring the Meaty Movie Weekend: The Martian, The Walk, and Sicario

Walcariotian

Man, this weekend was a gift from the gods compared to last weekend, when the hottest option available was that crappy Eli Roth rainforest movie.  I managed to check out three new movies on the big screen.  Considering most of you have more important things going on in your lives, I’ll compare the three movies for you right now, in hopes that you at least go see one of them.

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Movie Review: Dallas Buyers Club

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Based on the true story of Ron Woodroof (played by Matthew McConaughey), Dallas Buyers Club chronicles the life of a Texas hustler in the 1980s, when he gets a surprise diagnosis of HIV, at a time when it was destroying the gay community.  Unable to get any medication for his problem, because everything was still in a testing phase at that point, he takes matters into his own hands and starts smuggling medication in from other countries and selling them to other patients out of his apartment.  I think McConaughey takes his shirt of in this (I’m sure it’s in his contract for most films), but I don’t recall it being a pleasant sight, because he method acted the shit out of this movie and lost a ton of weight.

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Lazy Movie Review: Machete Kills

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Premise:  I’m not sure what I was thinking going to see this movie?  I guess I kind of felt obliged to for some reason.  It certainly didn’t look very good in the commercials.  But ya know, I enjoyed the first Machete somewhat, and I think (?) I support the modern grindhouse resurrection genre.  Though, now that I think about it, nothing much comes to mind that’s good about this genre, except, maybe…  Grindhouse itself?  Hmmmm…  Wait, I liked Hobo With a Shotgun and Black Dynamite, too.  But that’s only three movies.  Maybe this whole concept wasn’t such a great idea after all…?  Especially if we’ve appointed the main figure to make these movies to be Robert Rodriguez.

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My Weekend With Criterion

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So if you didn’t know (and I feel sorry for you if you didn’t), Hulu was offering up all of their Criterion Collection films for free streaming during the entire weekend.  I took this opportunity to watch as many films as possible during my free time between Friday morning and tonight, and I ended up viewing 13 films.  There were a few classics I wanted to catch up on, but mostly I wanted to watch some of the lesser recognized titles that seemed interesting, but not interesting enough to pay for.  Some of them were really good, and others painfully atrocious.  But regardless of quality, I had a pretty nice couple of days of basically only watching old (mostly foreign) movies, which is something I haven’t done probably over five years.  So here’s a quick summary of my nice little weekend with the Criterion Collection, which ironically didn’t involve Jean Luc Godard’s Weekend, which I’ve already seen.

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An Early Dinosaur Boner Christmas: 13 Mini Movie Reviews

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The last couple of months have been very strange/busy/sad/crazy.  I haven’t had all the time in the world to full write movie reviews for everything new I’ve seen, hence all the Lazy Movie Reviews lately.  Well, it’s about to get even lazier!  I’ve seen a bunch of random movies released this year, and if I don’t just poop them all out in one big post I’ll probably never get around to reviewing them.  So here they are:

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