Again, I’ve been too busy to write full reviews as of late, but I’ve seen two weekends worth of new movies, so I should get my thoughts out now before it becomes three weekends, or eventually I’ll just be posting once a month with eight movies in each post… So here we go!
Dare I say it? This is the most exciting movie I’ve ever seen about clay mining? I don’t think I’ve thought hard enough to make a final judgement, but it’s certainly in my top 50 clay mining movies. That’s for sure.
Premise: I saw this movie two weeks ago and haven’t had much time to write anything about it until now, but that has kind of confined my memory to basically remember it being a rehash of the first Terminator‘s plot, but then with more robots and stuff later on. Also, cell phone app updates are bad and could lead to a nuclear wasteland where the survivors are being imprisoned by tyrannical robot overlords. Remember that the next time you’re asked to update Angry Birds Seasons.
When I first saw the trailer for Labor Day, my immediate reaction was [LOUD OBNOXIOUS FART NOISE]. And I wasn’t really planning on seeing it, as you can obviously tell by my LOUD OBNOXIOUS FART NOISE. I mean, what the hell is this? Some fugative is feeding chili to Kate Winslet? So what? But then I decided to give the movie a chance because, first and foremost, I had nothing better to do. But secondly, I like Jason Reitman. Not just as a filmmaker, but I also think he’s a really interesting dude in interviews and publications as well. Plus, Up in the Air is one of my favorite movies of the 2000’s. So, I figure this can’t be the worst thing in the world, right?
I got a little bored and cut together a re-imagined trailer for Indiana Jones last night, where he is recognized for what he really is: a moderately paid archeology professor. …Enjoy?
When I was like 12, my family decided to go on vacation to Canada and see Niagara Falls. We got there, and it certainly looked like you’d expect Canada to look. My parents took me to see the waterfall from the upper right observation area. Then we walked about ten minutes and looked at it from a slightly different angle. Then we went on that boat and saw it from the bottom. Then we went to an observatory that was like halfway up. Then we looked at it from the top again. Then we went to the New York side and looked at it from that angle. Eventually I realized that this entire trip was planned to consist only of looking at this stupid heap of falling water. So I started to throw a major stink, and pretty much ruined the remainder of the vacation for the rest of my family. Do I feel bad about it? In retrospect, yes. At the time, no. I’ve since apologized to my dad about it in recent years. But anyway, that was the worst vacation I’ve ever been on. Now, does my Niagara boredom rank up there with getting hit by a tsunami, in terms of the worst vacation ever? I don’t know… I’m just sayin’, at least the tsunami was something interesting. So I watched The Impossible with high scrutiny as I compared it to my trip to Canada.
I love every film Paul Thomas Anderson has ever made.
Sadly, that statement only lasted up until this weekend. I don’t love The Master. It got held down by its own style and pacing. I wanted to love it, for sure. I tried to love it. But in the end, I just couldn’t get past its fatal flaws…
I went to see The Artist tonight (review coming later [quick take: it’s awesome]), and I don’t know the last time you went to a small budget, independent European film, but the trailers for it are all “along the same lines”. They are catered to the audience of the movie you are seeing, it’s just like you see mostly horror trailers in front of horror movies, and action trailers in front of action movies, etc. But the trailers in front of The Artist MADE ME WANT TO KILL MYSELF. Longest 12 and 1/2 minutes I’ve possibly ever spent in a movie theater. Check these out: