Movie Review: Bad Grandpa

bad grandpa 1

Look, you know what you’re going to get out of Bad Grandpa.  Going into it I anticipated plenty of poop, child neglect, and horny old man jokes.  And that’s exactly what I got.  If anything, Bad Grandpa is sort of commendable in the fact that it pretty much delivers exactly what you’d expect.  No better or worse.

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Lazy Movie Review: The Counselor


Premise:  Directed by Ridley Scott and written by Cormac McCarthy, The Counselor is a story about a lawyer only referred to as “Counselor,” who gets tangled up in some sort of bad drug deal or something?  Brad Pitt plays a cowboy or something?  And Cameron Diaz thinks she’s a cheetah or something?  I’m going to be 100% honest with you, I couldn’t tell you all the details of this convoluted story even if you threatened to decapitate me, which is something that happens like three times in this movie.

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Carrie vs. Carrie: Carrie-ing on the Carrie Name


I saw the new 2013 remake of Carrie this week, and instead of doing a normal review, I thought I’d just compare it to the original like a jerk and see which one is better.  The Rage: Carrie 2 will not be discussed.  Ever.

I’ll just go ahead and spoil as much as I want, assuming you’ve seen the original Carrie (or just the new one).  If you’ve seen one of them, then you know what happens in the other, because they don’t really change any plot points.

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Lazy Movie Review: Escape From Tomorrow

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Premise:  A guy is informed that he’s losing his job while on vacation with his family at Disney World.  So he gets drunk and (possibly?) starts having weird visions, and there’s (possibly?) some big conspiracy.  I don’t know.  The plot is kind of a half-thought.  Escape From Tomorrow is more widely known as the film that was shot (mostly) at Disney World (and its many hotel rooms), without the permission of Disney.  I think at the current time, Disney isn’t taking any action against them, as to not give the film any more publicity.  Good move on Disney’s part, because this movie probably doesn’t deserve much more publicity.

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Lazy Movie Review: Machete Kills

machete sucks

Premise:  I’m not sure what I was thinking going to see this movie?  I guess I kind of felt obliged to for some reason.  It certainly didn’t look very good in the commercials.  But ya know, I enjoyed the first Machete somewhat, and I think (?) I support the modern grindhouse resurrection genre.  Though, now that I think about it, nothing much comes to mind that’s good about this genre, except, maybe…  Grindhouse itself?  Hmmmm…  Wait, I liked Hobo With a Shotgun and Black Dynamite, too.  But that’s only three movies.  Maybe this whole concept wasn’t such a great idea after all…?  Especially if we’ve appointed the main figure to make these movies to be Robert Rodriguez.

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Lazy Movie Review: Prisoners


Premise:  Two families in Pennsylvania have their young daughters kidnapped out of nowhere on Thanksgiving.  They go through the frantic motions of looking for them endlessly for the first week they are missing (which is the film’s timeline).  At the same time, a detective who’s never lost a case (Jake Gyllenhaal) also looks for the girls.  One of the dads (Hugh Jackman) kidnaps a mentally challenged suspect (Paul Dano) who he believes 100% is the girls’ kidnapper, and locks him in a bathroom where he can torture him to get answers while they continue to look for the girls.  Then Gyllenhaal starts looking into Jackman, but they are both looking for the girls still.  And I think there’s close to three other subplots.  It’s a long movie.

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