Lazy Movie Review:: The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 2

Premise:  I actually had to read my review from last year of Mockingjay Part 1 just to remember what happened in it, leading into this one.  And to be honest, I’m not sure what happened in Part 1 that even had great significance in Part 2, other than that wiener kid Peta coming back and Katniss being forced into a relationship with him again for some reason, despite a complete lack of chemistry.  So, to sum up Mockingjay Part 2 into an easy sentence of plot description: Katniss gets into the Capitol, but it’s rigged with hundreds of booby traps, yet the movie kind of ends exactly how you’d expect it to.

Lazy Movie Review: SPECTRE

Premise:  In what might be (?) Daniel Craig’s final Bond movie, he plays some guy named Jim Bond, who is a spy and drives cars, and kind of just assumes that rando older Italian women want to bang him (turns out they do).  Why wouldn’t they, I guess?  I don’t know.  Leave me alone.  Anyway, he fights a couple of villains in this movie who wear uncomfortably over-stylized jackets, and one of them has a ponytail.  Wouldn’t it be great if there was a Bond villain who just wore a 1993 Buffalo Bills windbreaker and operated his evil corporation in an abandoned Sports Authority building in Indiana?  Well, there’s always the next reboot…  *closes eyes* *crosses fingers*  JOSH GAD JOSH GAD JOSH GAD.

Hot Apps vs. Hot Apps: Steve Jobs vs. Burnt

This was a good week for unlikable protagonists bossing people around in movies, as evident in the new films Steve Jobs and Burnt.  I was also going to include Our Brand Is Crisis into this review, but then I watched the trailer for it again and realized that I really, really don’t want to pay to see that movie because it looks painfully bland.  So I didn’t.